How not to catch a leprechaun, as written by a 2-year-old and 4-year-old (rather, let’s say by dictation because neither can write yet).
- Do NOT try to lure him in with plastic dinosaurs, though those are enticing. Leprechauns are so smart that’ll never work.
- Do NOT sit an empty black cast iron pot outside and wait for it to fill with gold (because the leprechaun knows not to fall for that trick).
- Do NOT use the hose outside to try and make a rainbow 🌈 with rain droplets that fall down as you stick the hose in the air like you just don’t care (and don’t care who you get wet in the process in balmy 30-degree March weather).
- Do NOT put on those stick-on Dollar Tree fake mustaches, hoping the leprechaun will think you’re his leprechaun cousin, Paddy O’Mahoney.
- Do NOT put a bunch of corned beef and cabbage in the crock pot, thinking the leprechaun will want to come over and eat it. Everyone knows leprechauns are vegetarians.
- Do NOT put a bunch of fake chocolate coins in your shoes to set outside your door at night. That’s totally the wrong holiday anyway and not even the right thing to do on St. Nicholas Day so you clearly need another nap.
- Do NOT have a The Leprechaun series horror movie marathon and expect a real leprechaun to show up. I’m pretty sure Warwick Davis didn’t even watch those (Ok, I wrote that one myself, not the kids. Weird how we all thought those movies were scary in the 90s).
- Do NOT put green food coloring in any beverages. That’s just gross. Leprechauns have too much self-respect to drink anything with so many artificial colors.
OKAY, enough already!!! How the heck are you supposed to actually catch a leprechaun?!
You can’t. We all know leprechauns aren’t real.
(Tell that to Paddy O’Mahoney)