I’m Suzanne…and I’m a foster Mom.
Trust me, I am not as special as you might think.
Two short weeks after we were licensed, we got the phone call and a beautiful 3 week old baby girl was placed in my arms. I was told very little, and the little that I was told went in one ear and out the other. Essentially, I knew one thing: I needed to mother this child.
I want to share with you five aspects of being a foster Mom:
1. We are not superheroes.
We are humans and we struggle with all the same Mom things that you do. Sure, there are many aspects of foster care that make life more interesting, but I want you to know that we are not elevated above you. We are Moms, you and I. We are all working hard, creating a safe and comfortable home and life for our children. And that is a hard and wonderful job. So, maybe I am a supermom…but so are you.
2. The goal of foster care is reunification.
One thing that most people don’t realize about foster care is that the primary goal in the situation is reunification. The system of foster care is this: place the children in a safe home and work with the parents to break their chains of addiction, to learn coping and living skills, and to be able to safely handle raising children.
I’m 100% on board with that.
Even if it means these children don’t get to live in my home forever and I have to “give them back”…I will do it. I will also adopt those children if all those plans fall through. But the goal is reunification.
3. I’m sworn to secrecy.
I’m a sharer. I always have been. I’m a total open book, and I don’t have a hard time opening up about my personal life… Until I became a foster parent. And now my lips are sealed, because they legally have to be. I can’t share pictures of our foster children. I can’t share their names online. And I can’t share any detail of their history, whether online or in person.
I’m still working on this. When strangers ask me questions about my children, I want to spew forth the whole story. But I can’t. I’m protecting the rights of a family.
So don’t be offended when a foster parent can’t tell you details. I encourage you to ask questions, and I would be glad to answer any that you may have. Just know that some of the answers to your questions are :”I just cannot answer that.”
4. We need your support
I chose to be a foster parent, and it sure is hard work. But the fact is: I can’t do it on my own. . I love to hop on my soapbox and preach about how everyone can be a part of foster care. All you have to do is find foster parents and support them. It could be as small as sending them a text every week encouraging them. Or it could be as big as going through the process to become cleared to babysit. Both Greene County Children’s Services and Montgomery County Children’s Services have local foster parents that could use your help!
5. It’s everything and more.
Foster care has a reputation. It is known to be hard. It is known to be draining. It is known to be heartbreaking.
It is all this.
But it’s also SO.MUCH.MORE.
It’s fulfilling. It’s satisfying. It’s beautiful. It’s a treasure. It’s a blessing. It’s a gift. It’s a learning experience. It’s a lifestyle that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
