Battling the After-School Breakdown

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My oldest started preschool this past Fall and I was so frustrated when every day, I would pick him up and he would have an absolute after-school breakdown. Sometimes it would begin moments after he got in the car. Other times it didn’t start until we got home. Though every single time, I couldn’t understand why he would cry so intensely for what seemed like no reason at all. I just asked how his day was!

After a late-night search on Google (hello parenting in 2020), I realized I wasn’t the only one experiencing the after-school breakdown! It even has an actual name, after-school restraint collapse. A quick read through and it all made sense. He was so mentally tired after being at school and following rules all day that he just needed a break for a little bit. He needed to unwind and reset and he was finally back in his safe space. Sounds oddly familiar to how I feel after a long day of work.

after-school breakdown

I came up with a little routine that has helped us tremendously to avoid the after-school breakdown and the dreaded deluge of tears. Here are some tips:

  1. Have a snack ready for your child to eat as soon as they get in the car or home. We have to eat lunch at 11 a.m. to get him to school so by 3 p.m., he’s hungry again (especially if he didn’t want to eat what was offered at snack time at school). It doesn’t have to be anything special. Something simple like a cheese stick and nuts or carrots and hummus or anything they enjoy but will fill them up.
  2. Don’t ask any questions about their day. Seriously. This one was really hard for me because I always want to hear about his day! Instead, I tell him it’s good to see him or that I’m happy he’s home. I try to let him guide the conversation and he will tell me all about his day when he’s ready. Too many questions the second he gets in the car and he’s feeling overwhelmed.
  3. Give them time to themselves if they need it. I know at the end of a busy day, I want to just sit in silence and unwind. Our kids can need that, too. This can look like letting them go to their room and play or read a book.

These tips aren’t a guarantee but they have sure helped us! They have made pick-up much more enjoyable for both of us and now I feel a little more prepared for handling it next year.

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Katie
Hi! I’m Katie, boy mama to 3, wife of a picky eater, photographer, business owner, and food lover. My husband and I both grew up in the Dayton area but moved away for college. We quickly found ourselves back in Dayton after having our first baby. I never really thought I’d end up back in Dayton but we soon realized how much we wanted to be close to our families after starting our own! I love exploring local restaurants and shops all around Dayton and you’ll probably see me snapping photos to share on Instagram @eatprettydarling!