Dear baby boy,
Your days as an only child are quickly dwindling, and Mommy’s heart is breaking in two. Not because I’m not excited for your little sister’s arrival (apprehensive, maybe, but excited nonetheless), but because I know that somehow, someway, I’m going to have to make room in my heart for her, too.
And baby boy, you’ve had my whole heart for your whole life.
When your Daddy and I went from two to three, it was an easy transition. Sure, I was scared that things would never be the same once you arrived – which they haven’t been, but in a good way. Watching your Daddy with you makes me love him more than I ever thought possible. We find so much joy in the little things with you, whether it’s watching your giggle outburst to the same part in Toy Story 3 we’ve seen 1,000 times or taking you to experience new things, just the three of us. You are our whole world, baby boy.
But when it comes to going from three to four, I’m scared out of my mind.
I’m scared you’ll think we don’t love you anymore because we brought a new baby home. I’m scared she won’t fit into your routine (because let’s face it, we all know you run this house). I’m scared that you’ll have sleep regression knowing Mommy’s up all hours of the night with your little sis. I’m scared of how your Daddy and I will be able to handle two under two (which depending on when your sister arrives, may only be for a week or so, but still). I’m scared of how I’ll adjust to having more than just one baby to devote all my time and energy to. I’m just plain scared.
Because when three becomes four, things are going to change. I’d be naive if I thought anything different. We’re going to have to find our new norm. You’re going to have to give up some of your one-on-one time with Mommy, whether you’re ok with it or not. You’re going to have to become more independent, even more so than you already are. You’re going to have let Daddy do some of the things with you that Mommy normally does. You’re going to have to grow up a little quicker, which puts a knot in my stomach because you’re already turning into a little boy so fast – right before my very eyes.
But when three becomes four, good things will happen, too. You’ll have someone to take all of the attention off of you, so you’ll be able to steal kitchen utensils and run around the house without your pants on to your heart’s content. You’ll have more opportunities to do fun father-son things with your Daddy, which I know he’s been longing for since the day we found out you were a boy. You’ll be a teacher to your sister when she’s ready to learn new things that you have long since mastered. And, you both will have a best friend built in for life, even though it’ll take you both years to realize it.
Yes, our family will be very blessed to go from three to four in just a month’s time. But it will take some getting used to for all four of us. Just know, baby boy, that you’ll always be my first baby. The one who made me a Mommy. The one who taught me how to love selflessly. The one who gave me my first gray hairs and permanent bags under my eyes. The one who makes me want to scream and cry happy tears all in a minute’s time. The one who has shown me how magical life truly is through your little eyes. The one who is going to be the best big brother ever.
