Pregnancy Just Isn’t For Everyone

I hated being pregnant. There I said it! I said one of the most taboo topics I have crossed since I started this journey into mommyhood. Nobody really wants to say it, but they are thinking it. Yes, some women love being pregnant and want to raise a basketball team. But there is a minority of us who just hated it. It doesn’t make you a bad mother, it just makes you honest.

There comes a certain point in your pregnancy when everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, will ask how you like being pregnant. If you were a friend, you got the response of, “I hate this and I am never doing it again.” Everyone else got the tasteful response of, “pregnancy just isn’t for everyone.” I realized early on that telling people you hated being pregnant is not acceptable. The woman who almost started crying was probably the best indicator of that. None of it was joyous and none of it makes me want to give Ellie a little brother or sister any time soon.

The pains, the hormones, the vomiting, OH MY! 

First, there was the roller coaster ride of hormones, the dreadful hormones which made me an insane person. For example, I shook my finger in an elderly gentleman’s face when he snapped at me. I disciplined a complete stranger because snapping his fingers at me was “completely uncalled for and not how you treat a woman.” Yup, I was totally riding the crazy train during my pregnancy.

There is also a rumor spreading around that while you are pregnant you have clear skin, beautiful hair, and a glow. My pregnancy glow was brought to you courtesy of an illuminating stick, bronzer, and my contouring skills. Beautiful, full hair? Nope; you can thank thickening tonic and root lifter for that trick.  Clear skin? Okay, this one was true. I did have really clear skin while I was pregnant. Thank you, Ellie.

Now let’s move on to the nausea and vomiting. I was always told that you only have morning sickness during the first trimester. So of course with this knowledge, I counted down the days till I would be in the clear. That came and went but I was still getting sick at least once a day. There were times I was throwing up so hard I would pee myself (in public and at home), get bloody noses, and towards the end, I swore I was putting myself into labor. My morning sickness lasted my entire pregnancy. No, I’m lying. I got 9 days of relief right before my third trimester started. Those were 9 glorious, magical days. I only half hated being pregnant then.

Strangers constantly want to touch your stomach.

The aches and pains weren’t so bad. Ha, I’m kidding it was awful. Now I am 5’4” with a very short torso so imagine how comfortable I was being all belly. Once she started moving I constantly felt like I was being punched in the vagina and a human punching bag. One time she kicked me so hard in my side, my husband heard it across the room and it left a bruise. I got a bruise from being kicked on the inside, let that one sink in. Thank you again, Ellie. 

While I absolutely hated being pregnant, I wouldn’t trade Ellie for anything. She was worth every ache, pain, nausea filled insane day.

She just won’t be getting a sibling any time soon so stop asking when we will have another baby. I am still traumatized.