Instead of “Congrats! You guys will make great parents!” or “So thrilled for your new bundle of joy!” or stale advice, how about we write what that mom-to-be needs to hear?
I’ve talked to several girlfriends about this:
Right before you have a baby, you rationally and consciously know that:
“Your life is about to change forever!”
“You’ll experience a love you’ve never felt!”
“It’s going to be a challenge but its worth it.”
You totally think you get it and you’re ready to bring it on!
While you, a mom already, don’t want to essentially scare the living daylights out of your bestie who is 37 weeks pregnant, you also feel like you need to let her in on a few key tips. Eh? You thought your maternity leave would be yours, or that breastfeeding is natural and you’ll just figure it out…the list goes on. I typically write a fairly PC, nice baby shower card and also include a way in-depth, super gory, detailed account of some things that will happen and some tips to help. No topic is off-limits and the document is to be kept private and not read aloud at the shower.
Here are some of the tips I’d like to write:
1. It is WAY (curse word) harder than you (curse word) thought humanly possible.
2. Your nipples will never be the same, and you’ll lose a lot of feeling in them. You’ll mourn that for about a year, and then you figure out you couldn’t care less, at all. Here is the ONE nursing must have you can’t go without.
3. You’ll likely have scar tissue formation in the walls of your who-ha. Sex is NOT an option for way longer than you think, that’s normal, don’t sweat it. (Read this, then email me with questions.)
4. You and your significant other are on the SAME TEAM. DO NOT KEEP SCORE if you want to keep that relationship. Can’t stress this one enough.
5. Sleeping when the baby sleeps is SUCH a cute idea.
6. You may blackout for a few months and not remember much about the details. Seriously, sleep deprivation has a serious impact on memory. So when they say take lots of pictures, videos, and write things down, DO IT. You’ll only have glimpses of labor, delivery, and possibly the first four months (like me).
7. Your maternity leave is NOT yours. You won’t have time to do 90-95% of what you imagined. You won’t get to read that book. I think I had six on my list to plow through on maternity leave and ditched all of them in favor of baby books, nursing books, Dr. Google, and naps. Definitely naps.
8. You’ll love your OWN parents 10 times more than you did pre-baby. You didn’t know that was possible! This was a beautiful gift that my child gave me, and I cherish it every day!
9. You’ll respect the crap out of your girlfriends who are already moms, you’ll feel like a freaking terrible friend and person that you weren’t there for them like they are for you, you’ll vow to visit every one in the hospital and cry with them, help them at home by watching baby and making food so they can get in the sitz bath again, and check in on them way more often.
10. If you think about how truly and deeply this new human and relationship rocks your world and how hard you love them, you’ll break into the deepest sobs and ugly cries and feel emotions that remind you of what LIFE truly feels like in its most raw and open form. This is what it’s all about.
Any others to add to the list? Be specific!
But for real, if you want my full list – there are too many curse words and details that would likely get censored, I’ll email you the document if you’re ready for some detailed tips. Happy to share!