Undoubtedly, one of the most frequently asked questions pregnant women receive is, “Do you know what you’re having?”
With our first pregnancy, the answer was no. We decided to wait and be surprised by the gender. This is a little bit shocking – particularly if you know me well – because I’m about as Type-A as they come.
The anticipation of not knowing was fun. During that first pregnancy, I didn’t have any kind of natural instinct that it was a girl or a boy, nor did I particularly only envision myself as a ‘girl mom’ or a ‘boy mom.’ I had a challenging pregnancy, so the fact that there was ultimately going to be this beautiful surprise was the light at the end of the tunnel.
But, the one thing I didn’t count on was the fact that people have A LOT of opinions if you do choose to wait for that big surprise.
Some of the most common statements we received included:
“I could never do that!” [Sure you could – people did it all the time pre-1980’s.]
“You guys have a lot of will power!” [Obviously, you’ve never seen me with a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.]
“But how will you plan?” [Newborns don’t mind if they wear a lot of gray and yellow.]
“But don’t you want to know?” [Yes, we want to know the day the baby is born.]
Our rationale was how many happy surprises are there in life? The truth was whether or not our baby was a boy or a girl was totally inconsequential. Once she was born, I didn’t care one way or another because I was so completely relieved that labor was over.
Okay, now forget everything I just said. Because this time we found out!
The reason is quite simple: our toddler is not the most adaptable child, so we figured any preparation we could give her, the better.
Our girl has filled our home with Minnie everything, tons of Ladybug Girl books, and sparkly princess shoes. Truth be told, when we found out we were pregnant with baby #2, my husband and I both just assumed it was a girl. After all, why wouldn’t it be a girl? We are girl parents; my husband has even become pretty skilled at doing ponytails. Our outspoken daughter didn’t help matters, proclaiming that Mommy was having a little girl baby just like her every chance she got. I’m fairly certain she even referred to the baby as a princess a time or two and suggested Minnie and Daisy as suitable names.
OH BOY were we in for a surprise!
Finding out the gender beforehand this time was almost just as surprising because we were not anticipating a little boy!
So now we know and we can prepare for his arrival in a new and different way. Our daughter is already calling him by his name, and though we still don’t expect a wonderfully effortless transition, we feel like finding out was the right choice for our family. Of course, we’ll have to add some blue to our wardrobe rotation, but I have a feeling little man will be just fine bathing in a hot pink tub and sipping out of Cinderella cups. Our families are THRILLED we found out – the waiting game just a bit too much for them to bear for a second time!
Once the initial shock wore off, I can now say that I am so happy we will have the best of both worlds in more than one way. I get to be a girl mom AND a boy mom. We had one pregnancy where we were surprised by the sex AND one where we found out.
But you know what? Whether you find out as soon as you can, do a big gender reveal party, or wait until the delivery date, it doesn’t really matter. It’s not like there’s one correct way to do any of this. We all want the same thing at the end of the day: a happy, healthy pregnancy and baby.
So let’s hear it, mamas: did you find out the sex of your baby during your pregnancy or did you wait for the big surprise? Would you do it differently a second (or third) (or fourth) time around?
