It’s been brought to my humble attention that some of the fellow moms I know through social media and our local mom groups that I give off very “zen” vibe. At first I was taken aback that I gave off said vibe without having tried to do so. I was shocked because, as a mom of little kids, I certainly don’t FEEL zen even half of the time.
After it sunk in that several of them asked me how I do the whole “mom thing” while seemingly remaining cool as a cucumber and so zen, I started to really think about who I am as a person.
Growing up, and still to this day, my mom refers to me as her “calm child.” I have been told countless times in my life that I’m “laid back” as well, hence the zen vibe. I can confidently say that’s who I always was before the babies came along, but I will admit in the same breath that motherhood has somewhat robbed me of my natural countenance. Nothing gets me more riled up and very “un-zen” than a child getting right up in my face, constant whining or a tantrum with no words being used from a very capable and fluent child. Yet, despite some of my chill having gone to the trash along with all the dirty diapers, I have to say, I think I really do hold it together pretty well.
Here are 3 things I consider to be my “how” in the answer to “How do you stay so zen while parenting?” question:
1. (As cliche as it sounds) Don’t Sweat the Small Things
Blue jello spilled all over the white placemats? Water poured all over the bathroom floor from bath time? The 4-year-old who just learned to write her name displaying her signature on the wall in crayon? I could keep going with all the frustrating and messy things kids do in a day. What do I do? I just take care of it and move on. I have noticed when I don’t yell and get too outwardly frustrated, neither do the kids and I am able to teach them and guide them a lot better.
2. Kick Self-Consciousness to the Curb
I’m very introverted, so this does have an extent for me. You won’t catch me busting a move in front of tons of family when the kids are around or anything where the spotlight is on me, really. What I mean is, sing along with your kids, smile openly at them, kiss them and hug them in public, don’t hold back on a teachable parenting moment even if judgey eyes are watching. Be silly, make faces, laugh with them! It just helps. I don’t know why, but it just does.
3. Keep Doing You
“Self care” is basically a household word in today’s parenting world, although the term itself kind of makes me cringe because as soon as something gains popularity, it immediately starts to get on my nerves for some reason. Call it what you want, but making sure you’re carving out time to do things you enjoyed before becoming a parent or things you enjoy now completely on your own, makes life a whole lot less stressful. For me, it’s blaring oldies in the car and singing super loud when driving home from work or drinking a couple glasses of wine on my porch after the kids go to bed, watching the cars go by and listening to the rain or the birds and smelling the seasonal air. Those things make me so happy and I need to do them to be the best mom I can be. Just giving myself that “me” time, however it looks on that particular day, spending time with myself, is absolutely necessary for me as a mom and a human being.
Please share your tricks for keeping your cool while parenting little ones with me! I love hearing from everyone’s feedback more than I can put into words.
