August 1st of this year, I received a call that would change my life. On the other end, the caller reviewed some things we had spoken about in a prior conversation. As my heart was racing, my brain was in overdrive thinking through all the possible scenarios and how the phone call would end. Just then, I heard the sweetest words I have heard in over 13 years, “So, would you like the job?” The only response I could manage was an enthusiastic, “Yes!” I hung up the phone and cried. I was so happy.
In a previous post, I revealed that I was a stay-at-home Mom and had been since the birth of my first child (9 years ago). As a SAHM, I felt that there was nothing tangible to show for my day, besides exhaustion. When I wrote that article, I was at a point where I needed something more in my day-to-day. I had been feeling unfulfilled in my role for quite some time, and it was showing up everywhere. I was unhappy, crabby, irritable, frustrated, and my patience was non-existent. I had needs that weren’t getting met. I needed a place to go and be with like-minded people, working toward a goal. I needed measurable outcomes. I needed to feel appreciated. I needed quiet. I needed to be reminded of what I am capable of. I needed so many things, that it was hard to put my finger on the exact solution. But after some serious introspection, my need became very clear.
I needed to go back to work.
Now, I know that there are women out there who feel completely fulfilled by motherhood. But, I’m not one of them. And that’s ok! We are all different and find fulfillment in different ways. All I need to do is love my children and make sure they feel loved in return. I can’t expect them to make me happy or whole. That’s my job.
So, despite all the guilt I felt for changing the routine and adding a new stress to the family dynamic, it was what I needed to do for myself. My husband also recognized this and encouraged me. He’s always been my biggest cheerleader and he could see how this decision would be better for our family. He knew that I would be a happier person and a better Mom if I had a professional outlet.
That job offer could not have come at a better time. August 1st happened to be my birthday and it was a great way to start a new chapter in my life. I felt as though I was turning to a clean, crisp page of a broken-in journal – a page that was empty, but full of possibility, excitement and fulfillment.