I never felt hats looked good on me. Either they were too big, too small, or simply accentuated features that didn’t need to be seen. Sunglasses have always been more my cup of tea.
Enter marriage and motherhood, two events that pile on the hats with such force that as soon as one is removed, the weight of another gets stacked on top. They consist of all shapes and sizes, many of which I have never worn before.
I was not prepared for this many hats and the expectation of how they all need to look good all the time.
When my husband and I got married six and a half years ago, the hat with the brand of “wife” became a permanent addition to my wardrobe. Accountant, appointment scheduler, cook, organizer, personal shopper, housekeeper, and then “mother” hats were all added over the course of the last five years. All are all hats that are thrust upon us with no real thought if we wear them well.
Want to know a secret? Nobody wears them all well nor do we all wear them the same way.
The weight can be overbearing. When you add two working parents and the load that simply comes from parenting, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Are accountants supposed to make mistakes in their checkbooks? Can calendars be so filled with appointments that just looking at them is exhausting? How about the expectation that every nightly meal will be homemade and nutritious, or that the house will be clean and tidy each night when your spouse comes home?
If busyness is where you thrive, then continue being a rockstar. If you are like the majority, however, and feel the weight on your shoulders, please reach out for help in areas that would best suit you. My husband and I recently brought in a housekeeper once a month to clean the bathrooms, dust the high surfaces, clean the floors, and take care of the windows. The weight of that one hat each month has been removed and it is as if one stressor has disappeared. Meal kits exist and while they may be expensive to some, they may be game-changers for those individuals who get home late or do not have time to plan and cook meals each week.
Just remember, you don’t have to bear the weight alone.
