Prior to age 3 the world seemed like a simple place – filled with leisurely weekends – plans that can ebb and flow – deciding when to do something – and when not to.
But now that my son Miles is 3 – the world of sports and activities has opened up to us – Flag Football, Soccer, Tennis…golf…the list goes on and on before my eyes. Now let’s get this straight – my son is not involved in all these activities – we picked one and only one.
I swore when Miles was born that we would not be one of those families whose weekends are dominated by running kids to one activity after another. I watched in horror as friends and family are never available due to numerous sporting events or activity after activity on the weekend. It’s not something we want…
We like the ability to be on our way to Target and then decide- spur of the moment- to head to HaHa Pizza in Yellow Springs for lunch…or we pass by SprayGround and decide to pop in (we always carry our bathing suits, towels and a change of clothes during the Summer).
So it got me thinking…
It seems these days we put a lot of emphasis on kids playing sports. And – don’t get me wrong – I think that there are some very important lessons that both team and individual sports can teach. Skills and lessons that can shape who we are as adults. However – how much do they have to play to learn these lessons? Certainly in generations past we weren’t spending all day Saturday & Sunday going from one soccer game to the next, driving all over the state for traveling teams and enrolling our children in these same sports in the off-season.
So what is driving this passion for play? Do we believe that with this extreme schedule and focus on a sport that our children will become professional players…or maybe even play at the collegiate level? Well according to the NCAA – very few will.
So if my son is not going to play professionally (I’ve come to terms with the stats) and the chances are even very unlikely that he will be good enough to play in college (although I must admit that my husband, during the proofreading stage of my article, was quick to point out that he was an D1 NCAA wrestler – thus blowing my theory on Miles) – then why the emphasis?
Is it for us or is it for them? Are too many parents living out their dream of being a superstar in sports – the sports equivalent to the “Stage Mom” in theater? Are we worried that if they are not busy they will get in trouble or waste away? Maybe that’s true – but isn’t that our job push them to use their imagination in good ways and explore the world around them?
You see – I want my littles to play a sport. Probably one per season. But I want the rest of their time exploring the world with us. There are other lessons to be learned other than the ones learned in sports – there are other cultures to be explored – parks to be hiked – art supplies to be used up – music to dance to – and bugs to be caught.
So…we’ll see you at flag football – generally after we’ve muddied our shoes at the dog park and shortly before we have a dance party to Miles Davis or the Beastie Boys.
How does your family make the decision on how many activities to participate in?
Very well written! I like your philosophy-having the freedom to explore naturally. I’ve noticed that putting kids on schedules (even fun ones) ends up in everyone feeling stressed.
Jamie – thank you & YES – we’ve had our fair share of stressful FUN schedules!
What a great post! I agree to how incredibly overwhelming it is to pick something to keep your kid occupied and moving. However you also don’t want to be super over involved to the point where your life is dictated by sports/activity schedules.
My son is now 3 and people are asking when he’ll play soccer and I’m just not quite ready to start him – I’m already busy enough with my older one with Soccer and dance!
This is a beautifully written post and such a great topic to help the conversation! So happy you are on board with us!
🙂 Trisha – since you’ve already been down the sports road – then you know that sports at age 3 is really more entertainment for parents than it is ‘sports’ for the kids…LOL!
I so agree! I think so many feel they need to have their kids involved in so many things and I am the opposite! I’d rather have him playing outside and using his imagination and have the freedom to do what we want when we want!
Megan – YES! Imagination is a lost art 🙂
Great article! I very much agree! When our kiddo was about the same age – we let her try YMCA soccer. She HATED it. She wanted to chase butterflies. LOL. We figured – if there was something that she REALLY wanted to do – she would let us know. And sure enough… she did.
I think a lot of parents feel it makes their kids well rounded. But I feel like it should be up to the kid (within reason) and not forced by the parents.
Hey…we love chasing butterflies! P.S. There is a great butterfly show at the Krohn Conservatory right now! If your little is still into butterflies!
http://www.cincinnatiparks.com/krohn
I agree with you, Monica. It’s not just the expense of these sports either, it’s the TIME factor and take it from a mom of 4 who is now an empty-nester. It goes very fast. You only get so much time to influence, enjoy and teach YOUR STORY to your children. Conversely, though, I know a family who has 3 daughters who were all involved in volleyball for years and years. The parents traveled cross country for Junior Olympics, club volleyball, Jr. High, High School and all three daughters earned volleyball scholarships in colleges in New York, Alabama and South Carolina and the parents continued to travel and support their daughters in college with more cross country trips than they can count. I do think this could be the single most important reason these particular 3 sisters are PHENOMENAL women in many areas such as athletically, for sure, but they are also socially responsible, charismatic, team playing, well rounded and fierce women everyone loves to be around. The life lessons from the family bonding time during all that travel will never fade for these girls, I suspect, and they are so close as sisters, along with their individual parental bonds. I can see both sides. But the bottom line for me is it can’t be forced. If the children love the sport and love the experience, then it seems like a win win for all.
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