Alright, Stop, Collaborate and Listen


Vanilla Ice and parenting seems like an unlikely pair.

Yet “Ice Ice Baby” plays in my head every time I ask my 9-year-old a question and it seems I have to wait forever for him to answer me. In my mom brain, he should answer just as quickly as I ask the question.

So I ask a question and wait.

STOP, collaborate and listen. Vanilla Ice (aka Robert Matthew Van Winkle) dropped the mic on this mother.

And I waited some more. 


Eventually, just when I thought he was not listening or did not hear my question and I was about to ask it again with quite a different tone, he answered. He did hear me, he was thinking of how to answer. In my impatience, my whole attitude changed and I became agitated. Shame on me.

Vanilla Ice has hit me square in the face with all of my relationships. I decided to ask and stop, collaborate and listen to everyone. It seems simple for everyone except me, and it does not come naturally for this mom.

Ask a question or talk to someone and STOP.

Stop and allow the other person to talk. Learn from them, not formulating what you will say next, but really learn.


Share and let the other person share with you. It is not a contest, it is a journey and we are on this journey together.


This requires your mouth to be shut. And those ears of yours to be open. After all, we have two ears and one mouth, so we should be listening twice as much as we talk.

I have learned more from listening to my son share and explain things to me than I ever thought imaginable because I didn’t rush him to answer in my time.

Thanks, Vanilla. Word to your mother.

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Hey local mommas! I grew up in Centerville, but I now live in Wilmington with my husband Tony. Together we have 6 kids, Joe, and his wife Allison, Austin, and his wife Hannah, Sydney and her husband Hayden, Andrew and his wife Lauren and our littles, Max and Eli. Did I mention we are a little nuts starting over with this parenting thing when we are 45+? We are officially adding new titles to our names in 2022- Tiki and Jeep (our version of Grandma and Grandpa). My husband and I are both ministers, and we get to work together in a local church. We were both married before and brought our families together in 2010. After a few years of marriage we felt God's leading for us to adopt. We added Max to our family in 2014 and Eli joined us in 2017, our quiver is officially full! Blending our family has been an adventure! Add some ex-spouses and two birth mommas and we have ourselves a crazy crew! Coffee is my love language. The beach is my happy place and I long to have my toes in the sand. I love being part of the team at Dayton Mom Collective.


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