A Letter to my Step-Daughter


Letter to my Step-Daughter

Dear sweet girl,

You are incredible and an amazing individual. I feel so blessed to be part of your life and amazed that I get to watch you grow and change.

The past 10 years have not been easy for our relationship.  I wanted you to accept me as your “step-mom” as quickly as I accepted you as my daughter.  
I’m not patient, but your dad is. He told me to be patient and just wait, you would get there.

Years went by along with countless birthdays, Christmas’, and graduations and I still longed to know you more.
I loved your dad so very much and wanted to be part of your life. He told me to be patient and just wait, you would get there.

I enjoyed any time that I spent with you, and couldn’t wait to sit and talk to you and find out more about who you are and what you wanted to be.
I became discouraged when there was drama and things didn’t go like I hoped they would. He told me to be patient and just wait, you would get there.

I realized over time, that you were wounded by the divorce in your family as I was in mine, and healing takes time.
Year after year, I prayed for you and for our relationship. He told me to be patient and just wait, you would get there.

Then slowly, we began to talk, and even laugh and I will never forget the first hug you gave me.
And our friendship began to grow, I saw little glimpses of progress. He told me to be patient and just wait, you would get there.

I didn’t want to be your “Mom”, because you have a wonderful one. But I did want to be part of your life because I love your dad.
I see so much of your dad in you, and I think he is amazing, and you are too. I wanted to tell you this, but I didn’t. He told me to be patient and just wait, you would get there.

He told me to be patient and that was so hard. I wanted an instant family, for you to fit right into our family with my kids, and that was so selfish of me.
Being patient was hard, but oh the wonderful things I was able to see and observe in that time. I watched you grow and mature from a distance.

He told me to wait. Wait for what? He just told me to wait. So I waited.
I waited for the first hug you initiated. I waited for the first time you would ask my opinion on something.
I waited for the first time we laughed until we cried. I waited for the first time you made fun of me. Those times were worth the wait.

He told me you would get there, and you did.

I have so much love for you as my “step” daughter. And I am thankful for all the “steps” we had to take to get where we are today. 

I love you sweet girl and am so glad you are my daughter from another mother.

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Hey local mommas! I grew up in Centerville, but I now live in Wilmington with my husband Tony. Together we have 6 kids, Joe, and his wife Allison, Austin, and his wife Hannah, Sydney and her husband Hayden, Andrew and his sweet fiance, Lauren and Max and Eli. Did I mention we are a little nuts starting over with this parenting thing when we are 45+???? My husband and I are both ministers , he is a youth minister and I'm a children's minister and we get to work at the same church. We were both married before and brought our families together in 2010. After a few years of marriage we felt God's leading for us to adopt. We added Max to our family in 2014 and Eli joined us in 2017, our quiver is officially full! Blending our family has been an adventure! Add some ex-spouses and two birth mommas and we have ourselves a crazy crew! Coffee is my love language, I just finished binge watching The Crown and feel a bit fancy now. The beach is my happy place and I long to have my toes in the sand. I love being part of the team at Dayton Mom Collective.


  1. Beautiful Cheryl! I remember our talk when I told you it would take time and it wouldn’t be easy. Sounds like yours took about the same time it took my girls and Me. I wouldn’t trade our relationship as step-daughter and step-mother for anything! God gave me to beautiful daughters I never had! Thank you for sharing!

  2. Hi Cheryl,

    This is exactly me!!! So so hard. #1 lesson… patience, keep believing, love from afar and focus on what I can do that makes me happy.

    I love love love the sharing of your story. I’m sure there were a few tears and battles in there too, as I am also most familiar with.

    It’s been 4 years since I’ve been in the same space as my SD and we’re getting closer…. Her dad says so😉

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