It’s spooky season! We’re looking around for pumpkin patches, fresh apple cider and the best Halloween costumes. As a mom, I look at Halloween as a great excuse to buy candy and dress up, but spooky season doesn’t stop on Nov. 1 for a mom. I would venture to say that it lasts all year long.
Every day it seems moms are bombarded with facts, figures and advice that often leave us on edge.
When I became a mom in 2018, I read every blog out there about nipple shields. My daughter was having a terrible time latching, causing me immense pain and bruising all around my breasts. Talk about horror! The nipple shield was my saving grace, but it didn’t solve all my problems, just the bruising bit. Baby would nurse for over an hour and fall asleep from exhaustion only to wake up 30 minutes later screaming, hungry again. I knew I must be failing. Other babies don’t do this!
Our pediatrician was less than helpful (we’ve since moved on and found an excellent care team) and the lactation specialist was more interested in my PPD counseling than my painful nipples. Unable to find sufficient help from my doctor, I turned to the internet. And holy cow, it scared me. There were no clear answers but there were plenty of expectations.
As I dove deeper, I found dozens of ways I was parenting wrong aside from my nursing issues. I didn’t have a sleep schedule. My child was not having enough tummy time. I didn’t pump in the middle of the night and I gave my kid a bottle way too soon! Each site seemed to offer a solution that I would try to no avail. At four months, we found out our baby had a tongue and lip tie (I joined a mom’s Facebook group for tongue ties). We got it clipped and off came the nipple shield! She packed on the pounds, shortened her feeding times and my poor breasts finally understood that nursing didn’t need to be torture.
Moms don’t need October to be scared out of their minds.
Parenting is a journey all on its own and when we take a wrong turn late at night, we can easily end up in the snares of scare tactics. What started as an innocent Google search can leave us in tears as the overwhelming advice and better methods remind us that we’re not doing it right.
But if we take off the mask of perfect answers, we find someone else trying to figure out this parenting thing, too. They don’t have the right answers for your children. There are suggestions and tips but they’re to be taken into consideration, not confirmation. Your best and brightest lamp along the way is your momma gut and other moms that understand the twists and turns of parenthood. I had let fear corner me on my quest and it was other moms who had punched that same fear in the face that brought me into the light.
Don’t be afraid to search for answers. Be bold as you ask for advice and be daring as you turn it down! And please don’t forget that we’re in the woods, too. If you find me along the path and my courage is faltering, take my hand, lead me out of the shadows and remind me that I can do it. As we walk along, arm in arm, we’ll remind other parents that the monsters are best conquered together.
