Secrets from a 4-Year-Old

This past month, my in-laws came from Kansas for a quick weekend visit. We are a military family, and, while we mostly adore it, it also means far less time with loved ones. The Air Force 5k, boating, swimming, walks, grilling, and competitive card games were all on the agenda. What wasn’t on the agenda, at least not my agenda, was when my 4-year-old declared it was “time to share secrets with Grandma!” Cue all the anxiety from this lady. To be honest, I had a rough season recently. What on Earth was this mostly sweet, though usually rambunctious, and overly full of information child about to spill?

Bridget leaned over, eyes big, and whispered her secrets into her grandma’s ear. To my surprise, my mother-in-law glanced up and grinned. She told us later, “Bridget’s big secret was, ‘My mommy and daddy are the best parents. But they don’t think they are.'”

I had a mixed sigh of relief and breath of realization. Mistakes I made, times I yelled, opportunities to be kind where I failed, times where I had to pause and say, “Please forgive me, sweet girls,” – those were not what Bridget was thinking about. She was thinking about how good we seemed to her. Still, the second part of her secret rings true. My husband and I so often don’t think we are the “best” parents. Many times, we don’t think we are doing enough or being enough. In the eyes of our daughter though, it looks like we are doing pretty well after all. 

Maybe you are a bit like me, trying so hard and still feeling like you are failing your littles at times. I’m willing to bet you aren’t failing, Mama. Even if you are struggling, they will learn from you. Even if you want to do more in this season, but are at your max limit, it’s okay. Chances are, your son or daughter would probably whisper into the ear of another adult that you are, indeed, the best Mama. But in case you haven’t heard it yet, let me whisper it to you over and over, because I think we could all use the reminder today. You are their best mama.