Raising Confident Kids {My Own Struggle with Self-Confidence}

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If I had to use a word to describe myself, confident would not be one of them. I have plenty of other good qualities, but confidence I’m lacking. Needless to say when at parent-teacher conferences recently I heard that my children are “perfectionists” and “lacking confidence,” neither one of those things surprised me.

How am I supposed to be raising confident children when I’m not confident myself?

confident

I don’t have the answer, and I wish I did.

Don’t get me wrong – I wish I was confident. It was not something, however, I felt growing up as a child and then into adulthood. I usually prefer not to speak my opinion about something so as to not cause a riff; I would prefer to stay “in the crowd” rather than stand out.

I feel perfectionism and confidence can sometimes go hand-in-hand. A friend gave me a desk plaque that said “progress not perfection.” I think this ties in perfectly with confidence – it’s something that takes time and isn’t perfected overnight.

One strategy I’ve tried to utilize is talking to my kids about the things I’m not perfect at. I’m not the best cook, I could definitely keep things more organized in our home, and I’m guilty of walking out the door with an item I meant to bring. These are all OK – and tie into the perfectionism that is not easily or theoretically attainable.

By showing my children that I’m not perfect, it shows them that I’m confident about something.

I’m confident about my imperfections – something I’ve realized my children need to see more than what I demonstrate.

I see my children’s imperfections, and something I can do is encourage them to keep going. By showing that I have confidence in them, that may instill confidence in themselves.

As a mom, the best thing I can do is encourage my children in all that they do. They are going to stumble and fall with some things they try, but if I encourage them to try again and tell them that they’re doing their best, then I feel I’m on the right track to building their confidence. 

What is your advice on raising confident children?

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