Having successfully potty trained two children, I would still not consider myself a professional, but I would venture to say I may be able to offer some advice. Keep in mind, however, that all children are different and nothing taught me that lesson more than potty training my two kiddos. They were night and day when it came to this dreaded task.
My oldest was excited, ready, and focused. It was a little before her second birthday. We had come back from a trip seeing my parents and when we got home she was suddenly determined. Teaching her the do’s and don’ts of restroom etiquette was a breeze. She took to it with such ease. Do not get me wrong. We had a quite few accidents here and there, which are totally and completely normal, but she was going to show that potty who was boss.
It made me feel triumphant and a little bit naïve.
When my youngest stepped up to the plate he proved to me that being a parent takes all the patience in the world. Headstrong, stubborn, and a little lazy if I am being honest, he was proving to be quite the challenge. There are seven years between my children. So, to say I was a bit out of practice makes some sense, but the second one really knows how to get to you and make you feel like a fool. I thought I knew it all and I was ready. Boy, was I wrong. He was nearing his third birthday and with every day that passed, I was growing more and more anxious. What if he never figured this out?
I was starting to feel like a failure as a mom.
I read all of the books and blogs. Asked every question. Still, something was not clicking. So I threw everything I thought I knew out the window and started focusing more on making him comfortable, reading his cues better, trying to understand what may be frustrating him, and honestly, approaching it with a better attitude. After what seemed like forever he started to get the hang of it.
At last, that triumphant feeling washed over me.
So, now I am sharing with you what I have learned from our potty training adventures.
- Whatever you think you know about potty training, you have no idea. Even after reading all the materials available and asking everyone I knew what worked for them, it inevitably did not work. I had to approach the situation with a clear mind and realize he was in charge. Not me.
- Let them guide you. Trust that they know what makes them feel comfortable. Pushing them to their limits is not always best. There were times where I had to throw in the towel and start again the next day.
- Respect that when they are ready they will tell you. This goes hand in hand with letting them guide you but it is also a little different. As parents, we set time frames. Children are expected to hit certain milestones by a certain age. But sometimes they have their own time frames – and that is okay and normal.
- Lastly, remember to give yourself and your child grace. At the end of the day, this is not a race. They will get it eventually – when they are ready, and then you too can feel triumphant.
These seem like common sense but I was feeling a bit overwhelmed throughout the process. Taking a step back really helped me access what was going on and how I might have been crowding him too much in the beginning.
Now we are all potty trained champs.
