A Child is Waiting – Perhaps on You!

Currently, in the United States, there are over 123,000 children in foster care waiting to be adopted.

Each year, since 2000, National Adoption Day (Nov. 23) is celebrated around our courts by having a special day to promote adoption. With the help of new policies being put into place, advocates for those waiting and practitioners around 400 cities in the U.S. celebrate this special day, with over 75,000 children being adopted as part of this event.

Yet there is still work to be done, and there are still so many children waiting. Waiting to know they are truly home. Waiting to know this is their last stop. Waiting to know that they are truly wanted and loved.

As an adoption recruiter, there is a long list of questions I often get asked, and I thought what better way to answer them than to share the answers with as many people as I can!

1. Why is adoption better than a child “aging out?” Especially if they are “almost 18 anyway?” – This question is asked over and over and yet it is not an easy answer. Simply put, because even almost 18-year-olds need somewhere to go “home” for the holidays. They need to know they have someone who they can call at 1 a.m. when their tire is flat. That there is someone waiting to help them through their break-ups and down moments. (Each year, more than 23,000 children “age out” of the foster care system. These youth are missing out on the support that comes from adoptive family or permanent connections to call their own. Statistically, 60% of males who age out of the system will be convicted of a crime. 7/10 females will be pregnant before their 21st birthday, 3% will go on to earn a college degree, 50% will end up with a substance dependence, and 32% of these youth waited for more than 3 years with the hope of finding a forever family before ultimately aging out without one. 20% of these youth will instantly become homeless.)
2. Why does adoption cost so much? – Are you ready for some truth? It isn’t! Well, not from foster care at least. Adoption, when done so privately or internationally, can be VERY expensive. Ranging from $20,000 to 60,000 per child adopted, it is hard and pricey. If this is not something you are able to do, adopting a youth who is part of the foster system can be little to no expense. Most counties offer free classes/home studies. The only expense for many is whatever the lawyer hired charges that isn’t covered by your county. This, of course, will vary by county/state jurisdictions, but I always advise individuals to ask their counties, first as it is most likely significantly less than expected.
3. How long does it take to adopt a child from foster care? – Honestly, it depends on a few factors! Are you already fostering the child you want to adopt? If so, as long as that child has been placed in your home for six months already, the adoption piece can take around three months. Are you getting licensed for a specific child only? This means you are planning to adopt just the specific youth(s) and have no intentions of taking any other children into your home. It will take three to four months for the classes/licensing piece, then the child has to be placed in your home for a minimum of six months. So on the short end, nine months! If you are licensed as a foster parent, then the child would be matched to your home and must be in your home for six months. If you are not licensed and want to open your home to foster/adopt a youth, it will take around six months to get licensed, then the youth would need to be placed in your home for a minimum of six months.
4. What if I am not rich? – Children do not care if you are rich! They want their needs met and to know that no matter what, you are there to care for them and love them. As a social worker, we just want to know that you can meet the child’s needs, your home is safe, and that you are willing to provide unconditional support!
5. Is it hard to adopt? I don’t know how to answer this when it’s asked. There is always more to this than there is time. Adoption is very hard, but it is also so VERY rewarding. No matter the age of the child being adopted (yes, I’m including infants to 2-year-olds), they have faced trauma. Whether in utero or in their homes, children in foster care are there for a reason. They’ve faced neglect, emotional trauma, physical abuse, sexual abuse, substance exposure in-utero, etc. At the very least, most will face PTSD from the time they spent in those harmful situations, not to mention the trauma of being removed from your birth family causes. These young ones learn very early how to push you away. They believe adults give up and fear that they will never find someone who doesn’t. Yet you will learn to love in ways you never knew how. You will see the innocence shine through in the moments they are at their worst.

Parenting is HARD – no matter if it is a birth child or an adopted one, but goodness is it so worth it. 

I’m certain I could write for days all the questions, answers, etc. that have been and will be asked of me, but these five are the most common out of them all. Adoption is beautiful, hard, rewarding, terrifying, loving and exhausting. Yet, choosing this path means being part of a story that without you, would most likely have ended in tragedy.

“A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove, but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.” (Forest E Witcraft)