We’ve all experienced this in some form. That sinking, lying, feeling in the pit of our stomachs. That feeling that lingers in the back of our minds and in the depths of our souls telling us we’re the worst moms. It eats away at us long after the kiddos have gone to bed and try as we might to push it down, it shouts at us all our fears and worries. It’s mom guilt!
I’ve been experiencing this a lot lately. Here’s why…
Before having my kiddos I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes. It’s an autoimmune disease that makes it so my pancreas no longer produces insulin. This is important because without insulin all the things I eat or drink can’t be broken down into energy. Not to mention what stress and life, in general, does to my diabetes. But I’ll spare you those details for now. What it all means is that I have to manually inject insulin to control my blood glucose levels. In a nutshell, I’m responsible for keeping myself alive every day, and I’m in charge of a potentially lethal medication, all while juggling my mom life duties, dealing with mom guilt feelings.
It’s kind of a lot.
After having my children I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, and most recently, I’ve begun taking medication for my kidneys. So to say I have a lot on my plate is an understatement. Most of the time I want to crawl under a rock and sleep the days away.
Except when you’re a full-time mom juggling hectic schedules and health issues, there is no throwing in the towel or ignoring life for awhile. You have to keep going. You have to push through. You have to smile big and count down the hours until bedtime because you’re having another crummy health day.
Here’s where the mom guilt really sinks in for me.
I love my babies. I try so hard to be really present in every moment with them. I’m at every practice, every game, and every school function. I do a lot and I love it. But sometimes I just can’t, sometimes I just don’t want to. I’m overwhelmed and the medications make me feel like a big ball of yuck. So then I feel guilty for ignoring the laundry, serving up PB&J’s for dinner, and canceling plans with friends because I’m just not up for any of it. The mom guilt makes me feel like a complete failure.
The truth is so many of us feel this way, whether it’s health-related or not, whether it’s every day stresses that make us snap at our children in public, or personal frustrations that make us feel like we could be doing more. Know that whatever it is, you’re allowed to have off days, you’re allowed to feel those feelings. You’re allowed to leave the dishes for the next day. You’re allowed to take a breath. To cancel on playdates. To nap when given the chance. You’re allowed to feel sad about the cards you’ve been dealt and you’re more than allowed to cry about it, too.
What you can’t do is give up! That’s not allowed.
You have to stay resilient, keep fighting the good fight, and give yourself grace. Remember you’re human and you’re allowed to take time for yourself so you can continue to be the best mom around.
I’m rooting for you, friend.
Have you experienced mom guilt? What about?
