Mealtimes look different these days. Gone are the times of grabbing a quick bite and heading out to the door to work. If I had 10 minutes instead of 5, I’d make a smoothie and chug it before brushing my teeth. Dinners were either spent alone while my husband was in class or if we were lucky and he was home, we would eat together while catching up on a good show.
Let’s just say those days of calm and carefree mealtimes are no more.
My 11-month-old is a much messier of an eater than any of my five pets, and her recent discovery of spitting out food when she’s finished makes for an abrupt end to our family dinner. She eats with her foot on the high chair because manners do not exist yet. I find myself actually planning what to eat instead of grabbing what’s in our fridge for lunch. Can she eat this? How messy will it be? Do I really want to bathe her afterward?
All these questions go through my head at the same time I’m thinking of the clients to call and notes to write, but she doesn’t need to know my brain is going in a million different directions.
Breakfast, however, has got to be my favorite part of the day. We share eggs, pancakes, or fruit, and talk using words that are only understood between a mother and daughter. She laughs when the dogs eat the crumbs below her feet and sit waiting for more. It’s often just the two of us without a rush to get to a meeting or get her to bed. I used to sleep in and feel rushed, which while you’d think it would be the same right now for a working mom, it is not. Our time together is intentional, and the moments are ones I will forever treasure.
While I know she is too young to grasp the concept of family togetherness, I want her to take part in mealtimes from a young age. My mother consistently had us eat together as a family even if it was 8 o’clock at night. We shared stories about our days and it gave us a time to be together that otherwise likely wouldn’t happen. For Ana, my husband and I want her to know we are a safe space and the lines of communication are always open. To us, this starts at the table.
Even when she’s spitting food or breaking all table manners by elevating her foot on the tray, we are there with her. Validating her feelings (11-month-olds definitely have them!), showing her love, letting her explore food through taste and play, and ultimately simply being together.
Mealtimes may look different, but it isn’t a bad thing. Are they more exhausting? They can be. Are they messier? Unbelievably so. Are there more laughs? So many more, and there’s beauty in all of it.
