Mama’s Not Playin’

I’ve never been one for play. As a child, I much preferred to sit with the adults and listen to them talk, especially at family gatherings. They would tease each other, disagree on politics, reminisce, gossip and drink wine. I remember looking at the shiny silverware, the crystal stemware and the beautiful dishes and serving pieces. It all seemed so glamorous to me. I remember how my Grandmother, Mom and Aunts were always dressed up and wore beautiful jewelry, full makeup and clothes. I wanted to be just like them when I grew up.

At the same time, I remember my cousins running around and playing outside at family holidays and birthday parties. Every once-in-a-while I would join in a game of freeze tag, but usually, I would be hanging out with the grown-ups. Sitting. Listening. Observing.

When it came to sports, I wasn’t at all competitive or aggressive. I hated P.E. in school. Dodgeball was my least favorite game and I would often pretend that I got hit immediately so that I could sit out the remainder of the round. Anything involving a pinny or picking teams was terrifying to me.

So when I was blessed with two active, sports-loving boys, I honestly didn’t know what God was thinking.

Surely He had lost his marbles! Why, on earth, would He give this lace-loving, frilly, pink, prim and proper, makeup-wearing, girly-girl TWO of a kind? It just didn’t make sense.

You see, my boys love all things rugged. They love trucks that make noise and dig in the dirt. They love to play, wrestle, run and explore the outdoors. They love to jump in puddles, get muddy and touch bugs. And, they love their Mama. Which, don’t get me wrong, is great… except for when they want me to be part of it all.

Quite frankly, I don’t want to. I don’t want to jump in puddles, play in the rain, or get muddy. It’s not my thing. I also don’t want to wrestle, run, or touch bugs. I have NEVER wanted to do these things. So when they ask, “Mommy will you play with me?” The answer is “No. Mama’s not playin’.”

What Mama will do though is watch, encourage them to try new things, ask questions, offer feedback, listen, have hot cocoa and cookies ready when they come in from making snow angels, kiss boo-boos when they get hurt, play board games, snuggle, watch movies, and love them eternally.

What Mama is doing is teaching them that, in life, not everyone wants to do what you want to do. And that’s ok. You can be you and the other person can be themselves. You don’t have to share absolutely everything. Healthy relationships are built on trust and allowing the other person the freedom to be themselves and love them just as they are.

When I say “Mama’s not playin’,” what I am really doing is teaching a life lesson that my boys will take with them into future relationships, workplaces, teams, and partnerships. I am teaching them how to change the plan and find compromise. I am teaching them how to deal with disappointment in a healthy way, how to talk through differences and express their feelings.

No longer do I think that God was out of his mind when He gave me my boys. In fact, I think He knew exactly what He was doing.