What did you learn from your dad?
This is somewhat difficult for me to write, mostly because my dad is still alive and could potentially read this. Lucky for him, I think he’s pretty amazing. Still, he might be a bit uncomfortable with me writing about him online. Sorry, Dad. I also fully realize that having a great dad or father figure isn’t a given in life. It’s painful to me to know how many don’t share my life experiences.
I learned… am learning… everything from my Dad.
In March, my parents came to visit from Kansas. Dad needed to pick up some car parts while here to repair some damage before they could head home. He looked up a junkyard in Dayton and asked me to drive him. I dropped him off and waited. He offered to pay for gas, but I asked him to buy us coffee instead at St. Anne the Tart, one of my favorites. We sat. Talked about life. Enjoyed the space and the food. He let me snap some photos of him for my mama. Just two adults who don’t get to hang out nearly as often as I would like. I learned the value of family and just being together from him.
In college, I was struggling to pass a class. Statistics. It wasn’t for lack of trying. I tried more than I care to admit. I felt like a failure. Statistics was already difficult for me, and I have test anxiety. When I failed the midterm, literally froze and could barely answer at all, the teacher told me I might as well give up because there was no way I could pass. He also had other unkind things to say. If I didn’t pass statistics that semester, I would be unable to continue on as planned. It would set me back an entire semester at least. I left in tears. I sat on “the steps to nowhere,” which was literally a staircase that led to a wall on campus with no door, and called Dad. He listened. He said he was proud of me. That he hadn’t even gone to college. That things happen. Then he asked what I needed to do to fix it. It was the encouragement and push I needed to find out. I dropped the course, enrolled in the same course at a community college, and finished it in six weeks. I learned the value of hard work, owning my mistakes, and taking pride in myself and others from him.
When I was in high school, I tried to be friends with everyone. I’m not sure why. I realize now how unsustainable of an idea that is. Needless to say, Dad was welcoming to every single kid who came through our door. Even when it was unplanned. Even when it was potentially messy. He took on things for other people that he didn’t have to. And he probably doesn’t realize how much of an impact it made on me. I learned how to look out for others and give them a hand, especially kids, from him.
My dad started dating my mom when she was 18. And somehow, though I know they drive each other crazy at times, they love each other immensely. People adore them or are nauseated by it; I’m unsure which. (Kidding, mostly). He loves her well. As she does him. And he loves his kids well. When he taught my kindergarten class to tie their shoes. When he came to the high school sporting events to cheer me on, a cheerleader. When he drove across the country with us multiple times to help with our military moves. Even now that we are adults and spread out all over. If it isn’t obvious, he was in this family thing for the long haul. I learned what it looks like to love your family well and to show up consistently from him.
Dad, I sure hope I get to keep you on this side of Heaven for a long time. I have learned and am learning everything. Love you.
What did you learn or are you learning, from your dad? I’d love to hear your favorite stories.
