It’s Just a Little Pee {Giving Grace During a Tough School Year}

My son peed his pants. At school. On the fifth day. I was furious.

This school year has been crazy, new, unprecedented, ________ – you put in any negative adjective you want in this blank and it works.

We didn’t get to meet the teacher before the school year started, we didn’t get to practice walking to find the new room and we didn’t get to see where the bathroom was.

On the fifth day of school, as we drove to the pick-up line, I noticed that my son had on a different outfit (moms notice these things). I had packed an extra set of clothes in a gallon baggie for that type of emergency. This baggie was not on the list of things your child needs for this school year, but just a mom instinct. My son does not have a bladder problem but does have some sensory issues, so said bag would help if paint or mud or anything of the sort got on his clothes.

He hops in the van and immediately I begin to inquire as to why the new clothes. He said curtly, “Oh, that, it was just a little pee”. Deciding that I was not satisfied with that answer, I began the Spanish Inquisition, which only got me a STOP ASKING look from my sweet hubby. The van was full with a 4th-grade friend that we carpool with so I stopped the questioning. All the while muttering under my breath, “WHAT HAPPENED???”

After dropping off the friend, I began again. My anxiety was through the roof and I had to know what happened. My 1st grader had already told me and he didn’t think he needed to tell me anymore. He was not upset, but I sure was. He said again, it was just a little pee.

After an interrogation that lasted an hour, I got the scoop.

Max had to pee (because I encouraged him to drink all of his Gatorade at lunch) and was raising his hand in class to ask to use the bathroom. The teacher was trying to get through a lesson and told him to put his hand down (four times, without inquiring as to why his hand was up). With each ask, he had to go more and more until a friend noticed that said son was grabbing his crotch and blurted out, “Max has to pee bad!!!” She let him go to the bathroom, but it was too late and he peed all over himself.

I was furious. My son was not at all.

I emailed the teacher and I was ready to rumble. Why had I not received a call? Why was my son put in this position? Why was he not allowed to pee? With each question that ran through my mind, I got angrier and angrier.

My son was “hey, this happened at school” about it. No anger, no embarrassment, repeating it was just a little pee.

I finally heard from the teacher with an explanation.

I was still upset and responded in our Class Dojo, what could he have done differently? I wanted to make sure this didn’t happen again. We exchanged a few more emails; I was still upset and stayed that way for a few weeks until it hit me like a ton of bricks.

It is a hard school year – for teachers, for parents and for students. SHOW GRACE.

My son peed his pants in first grade on the 5th day, and he didn’t care one bit. I had packed an extra set of clothes for just this reason. My attitude was awful; it was just a little pee.

So Mrs. H, I’m sorry. I was angry over a little pee. I was angry over something that was an accident and that didn’t bother my sweet son at all.

How many times do we fight a battle and get angry and worked up over just a little pee?  Our kids take our queues and get angry and we make a mountain out of a molehill, taking them on the trek up that mountain for no good reason.

That night while tucking my sweet little pee accident boy into the bed, he said, “Hey, do you mind packing another extra outfit in my backpack for school tomorrow? If I drink all my Gatorade like you told me to, I may need them.”

Boom! It was just a little pee.