I’m not a gun person. We don’t play with guns in our house, we try really hard not to watch TV or read books with guns or weapons (although it is slowly seeping in; I didn’t remember how violent Toy Story was until it was too late). Truthfully, unless I am reading or reacting to the news, I don’t think very much about guns. At least, I didn’t before.
Several months ago, I was engaging in a thread on Facebook about accidental gun injuries and kids. Many moms were discussing how they handle guns in their homes and the homes of friends and family. I was discussing the thread with a friend, and naively, I said, “I just won’t let my son play at houses with guns.” My friend laughed. She said, “You leave Joshua here all the time.” “Wait, what? You don’t have a gun…” She didn’t. She had several. She also pointed out that more people than I realize probably own guns. This was a total eye-opening moment for me.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, 78 kids in the U.S. are injured or killed by guns every single day. These numbers came from the Center for Disease Control, between 2013-2016. While I don’t have current statistics available, I can say that Amnesty International has issued a travel advisory warning travelers about gun violence in the U.S. My point is, we can’t afford to be ignorant about guns. And while I am still trying to navigate how and when to talk to my son about guns – he’s 3 and advice here is welcome – what I have been made more aware of is the fact that my son is probably spending more time in homes with guns than I realized. So what now?
We started by awkwardly asking our close friends and family – the places where kiddo spends time – whether there was a gun in the home and what the safety standard was.
We were surprised at how awkward it felt asking about it, we were surprised to find that half the people we spoke to did have guns, and we were relieved to hear that everyone had strict safety policies. For months, we left it at: we asked, we know, and these are our friends and/or family members. We trust them with our kid. So we aren’t going to change anything.
But… follow that up with conversations later about how so and so’s husband left the gun on a counter one day. Even with the best safety protocols, mistakes happen. Things get left out. Even if I trust my friend, do I trust the husband I’ve never spent much time with? The teenage sibling? The uncle I’ve never met who’s staying for awhile? The more I thought about it, the less comfortable I felt. And after the devastating shooting in the Oregon District, my tender mama heart told me I can’t just be passive about this anymore. After a lot of conversation, my husband and I landed on this for now: Our kid can play at homes where we feel comfortable with the people and safety standards, but only if one of us can be there in-person to chaperone.
That’s where we’ve drawn our boundary. Where is yours? Have you thought about it? Do you ask?
I’d love to hear where your gun boundaries are and how and what you ask about guns. If you’re where I was a few months ago and have never given it much thought, I urge you to at the very least to ask the question. What you do with the information is up to you. And if hearing it from me isn’t enough, the American Academy of Pediatrics also urges you to ask, “Is there an unlocked gun in your home?” before taking your children to someone else’s home. We can’t protect our kids from everything, but we can make informed decisions.
If you really want to protect your children from guns, then you really should teach them gun safety, which can easily be done with a toy gun. Even if you don’t own any. You wouldn’t just give your child scissors or a knife (cooking) before teaching them the safety procedures and how to use them. It’s the same with guns, knowledge is power. If you are unfamiliar with guns yourself the NRA has plenty of resources for you.
https://gunsafetyrules.nra.org/
I strongly disagree. The different between scissors and knives is that they are fundamentals of basic living. Guns are not. I am nearly 34, and I have never seen, held, touched, or had any other experience with a gun. I do not think that I need to teach my kid how to use deadly weapons. I am also strongly opposed to the NRA and everything it stands for. Here’s an article from Forbes that mirrors my feelings on the topic: https://www.forbes.com/sites/tarahaelle/2017/06/21/gun-safety-programs-wont-save-your-child-but-this-question-might/#309de5b655b8
What has kept me safe? Staying AWAY from guns. My parents keeping me AWAY from guns. Not being places where guns are kept haphazardly or unsafely. Not being places that have guns, period.
Nothing is perfect or fool proof, but I am really upset by the logic that says just because my son is learning how to use safety scissors, he should learn how to use a gun. It just isn’t comparable.
Im sorry but that’s not what she said. I think Lauren is RIGHT! Knowledge is power! I think you’re going to have a long road trying to protect your kid from every WHAT IF situation. Are you going to not let your child go to houses that don’t have plug covers? Kids can stick stuff in them and die ya know. NO… you’re going to educate them!!
Guns are not bad and actually ARE a needed tool for many people. Its very naive of you to think otherwise.
I do not think the commenter above is actually saying go out and teach your 3 year old to use a gun but more that you should be proactive about teaching what to do if they find one or are around another person who is using one.
I have 3 boys ages 8, 6, and 3 and we live in an area where guns are commonplace for hunting and protection. We did actually have the same thoughts on guns that you did in the beginning but I have learned that it is my responsibility to protect my own children so we have been very straightforward in teaching them what to do if they find a gun, if they see someone else with a gun, or if there is a shooting. You can’t be blind to the fact that guns are everywhere even if you don’t see them but you can provide the knowledge to your children to keep them safe.
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