The Tale of the Extroverted Introvert

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I am an official extroverted introvert. I can see how this could be very confusing to those around me, but it is something I have struggled with more and more as I have gotten older. I expressed this to my dad recently and he thought I was joking.

“You have always been the most outgoing person I know” was his reply.

This sentiment is true. I can be very outgoing when I’m in my comfort zone or in an environment with which I know I need to be. However, the harsh reality of my struggle is that I can express my extroverted side to those around me, yet at the same time, I am an anxious mess who just wants to hide in my tiny comfortable bubble.

The definition of an extrovert is, “an outgoing, overly expressive person.”

This can sum me up to a tee. I am chatty, at times probably too chatty. I can be extremely outgoing and don’t know many strangers. Since I was young, I would sing and dance my way around all who would listen. The stage was my favorite place to be. The reality of that life though was that my social circle was small and mostly made up of those I had known since I was very young.

Social settings, like my husband’s work events, make me cringe. It is loud and full of people I don’t know and feel awkward around. This is where the introvert in me steps in and says, “Oh you want to be friendly today? That is fine, but tomorrow you will be exhausted!”

The definition of an introvert is “a shy and reticent person.”

I LOVE my alone time. Quiet is hard to come by these days, but I crave those moments of pure silence. I’d rather sit in a comfy chair with a book than be the one everyone is paying attention to at a party. In a crowd of people, I often feel awkward and alone.

Parenting is already tough. I want so much to build a strong network that will love on my babies if I need them, too, but I will never be one to ask or to approach new people in order to do so!

I joined a local club after having my boys. If a couple of the ladies in the meeting hadn’t sat next to me and started asking me all of the questions, the likelihood of me never returning would have been HUGE. I love my kids’ friends, but the constant noise and energy of having them all over at the same time is exhausting, but I yearn to be the fun neighborhood mama like mine was.

I write this to help other mama’s who may be on the struggle bus with this. I hope that the next time you need a break because the social world is too overwhelming, that you know it is ok. Yet at the same time, have the strength to explain to your bestie why you just can’t meet her for a glass of wine that day. I hope that others will allow you the space you need, but not walk away assuming you don’t have time for them. I wish for you lots of quiet, surrounded by the loudest love from your littles that you can handle. I also wish upon you a fully extroverted bestie who can steal the limelight so that you don’t feel the need to (well unless your inner extrovert needs her time to shine)!