At what age do you get your child a cellphone? By what age are they allowed to have social media? How can we be sure they’re safe in this technology-driven world?
These are just a few of the questions my husband and I asked ourselves before deciding whether or not our daughter should have a cellphone.
With every pro, we jotted down there was an even scarier con. Technology can bring so much good; connecting with friends, chatting with out-of-state family, and being able to document our lives. But there are also some scary things happening in the world, some of which take place on these handheld devices, and for me, that was enough to say NO!
It’s a difficult world to navigate when it comes to our children and I needed to find the balance. One of our many jobs as parents is to protect while allowing them to explore.
But how much freedom is too much freedom?
The whole worldwide web at her fingertips scared me. We spoke with her extensively about the responsibility she had. This opened up an important dialogue about being alert and staying safe. After quite a few of these discussions, we finally allowed it.
Parenting isn’t easy, folks! One thing I’ve learned over the years is that communication is key.
If you’re on the fence about all of this, here are a few things we speak with our daughter about to ensure her safety while using her cellphone:
- Social Media: Our daughter has come to us many times about friends having x,y, and z social media apps. While we sometimes feel like she might be missing out, we also feel like protecting her innocence is more important. Here’s where communication comes in! We could’ve given a flat out no. Instead, we took the time to explain our concerns and why we aren’t comfortable with the use of those apps just yet. We steered away from saying “we don’t trust you” and kept it honest in that we don’t trust others and want to be sure she’s better equipped.
- Games: The way our phones are set up, we’re able to approve all apps she wants to download. This gives us the opportunity to read, test, or discuss what they are and if we think they’re age-appropriate. Apps that contain a lot of outside chatting are off the board as well as anything that may seem too mature. Again, we discuss our concerns with her. Who, what, where, when, and why are our go-to fillers. In this big, crazy world, we have to be on high alert. We aren’t shutting all the doors. Just the ones we feel are too much at this time.
- Personal Information: It’s so important to talk about this topic. Under no circumstance do we give strangers our personal information! Don’t assume they know this. It might seem like common sense to us, but they might not understand the harm this could bring. Be honest and open to a certain extent. Safety is the goal!
- Trust: This has been something we’ve consistently tried to practice and praise. Everything is built on trust. We’re trusting her to be mature with her cellphone and letting us know when something doesn’t feel right. She’s trusting us to keep her best interest at heart. Together we’re working to give her more freedom as she continues to grow into herself.
I hope this has helped in some way. We’re learning as we go and adapting where we need to. At the end of the day, it’s whatever you and your family are comfortable with.
Do your children have cellphones? Let us know in the comments why or why not?
