Driving through my old college town on a recent family vacay really pulled at my heartstrings. Silly locations like the Waffle House and Wendy’s that hosted 2 a.m. food binges, the country honky tonk where I used to boot-scoot the night away, and even the grocery store I would frequent all brought up memories long forgotten. I used to be someone else before I was a mommy, and even though that person changed drastically 10 years ago, I am still carrying a piece of her with me.
On our little family vacation, we took the kids to a lake that I grew up visiting annually. My 9-year-old son was shocked to learn that I used to love fishing. He couldn’t fathom that his mom would actually touch a worm… or had reeled in a bass or 10 before he was born. We passed that honky-tonk dive bar where I met an up-and-coming country singer. My husband informed the kids that the singer even sang a song to their mom before he made it big. They couldn’t believe that I met the superstar back in the day. Oh, the stories I could tell them!
As we passed through the town memories of late nights, early mornings, good decisions and poor decisions all poured out from the buildings like a moving photo reel of people I haven’t seen in a decade. Gosh, I miss them. I miss the freedom of hopping around like a bouncy ball without a set direction in life. I miss living like a gypsy on the weekends traveling the globe wherever the wind blew, and wherever a half tank of gas would take me. I used to go dancing. I used to travel. I used to listen to the radio at a decibel much too loud. I used to eat takeout at a frequency that could send someone into a-fib. I used to crash in my friend’s dorms and wake up after noon. I used to procrastinate studying for exams, but somehow always seemed to pull off a B (or something not completely disgraceful). I used to dream about “one day-someday-eventually.”
Now I go dancing in the kitchen with my littles and their daddy. I travel with 700 contraptions to beaches and family-friendly locals. If I listen to the radio, the songs have nothing to do with booty-shaking unless its the Hokey Pokey (most of the time…). I now procrastinate my kids’ school projects and we still eat out fairly often. Because #momlife.
Life has changed SO MUCH. I am in a different state, physically and mentally. I can pour out old pictures and see the girl I used to be, with the world at her feet and her future ahead of her. Or I can look in a mirror because I am still here. I can carry those memories and relive them with my college friends and hubby. Whenever I hear that country singer on the radio, I can steal away for a minute and remember back when he stopped the show to tell me to get off my phone because he wanted to sing me a song. “Brown Eyed Girl” still makes me giddy and nostalgic.
I can honestly say I would not be the mom that I am if not for those experiences. I will cheer my kids on to make their own memories, in their own ways as they travel in their own directions. I am also really excited to get to know the person I will be when my kids are off making their own dreams a reality. Will my husband and I flip a coin and travel to new places? Will we set up a tiki bar on an island in the Keys? Will we move out west and buy a cattle ranch? I still dream about the “one day-some day-eventually” while loving the “here-now-today.” I guess underneath the yoga pants and top knot there lies a traveling gypsy, still dreaming of the next adventure. Someday. Maybe after nap time.
