Mommy, Are Bad Guys Real?

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“Mommy, are bad guys real?”

This is a question my 4-year-old daughter asked me after we read a book with a bad guy in it recently. My instinct was to tell her “no,” because I was thinking of the types of bad guys in those “learn to read” Barbie books she likes. But then I thought about it and realized that yes, bad guys do exist. Perhaps not obvious bad guys like in her books, but there are for sure are bad people out there.

When nine people were shot and killed by a bad guy in the Oregon District in August, I wanted to take the family down there to help support our local businesses and pay our respects to the victims.

But I knew my curious little girl would want to know why there were flowers, why people looked sad, why there were crosses with peoples’ names on. So I told her a version of the truth I thought she could handle.

A bad guy did a very bad thing and hurt some people in Dayton, and the friends and family of those people are very sad.”

We told her that there were really good guys there, too, and that they made the bad guy go away so he couldn’t hurt anyone else. She didn’t ask what exactly the bad guy did, but she did ask why he went there and did something bad.

How do I explain to a preschooler something I don’t understand myself?

It’s scary to raise kids in a world where things like this happen. To know that one day she will realize that there are bad guys everywhere and that the good guys aren’t always there to stop them as quickly as the good guys in Dayton were.

But as much as I think about that, I also think about how many good guys there are in this world. The people who helped protect hundreds when a bad guy was outside shooting people. The people who have donated money to the victims’ families or those who were injured, or taken snacks or flowers to the grieving community. Even outside of a tragedy like this, the people who hold doors open, smile at you, compliment you even though they don’t know you, buy you a coffee just because you were in line behind them for coffee. Those are the guys I want to make sure my kids know about. Those are the guys I want my kids to become.

It’s hard to talk to kids about scary things like this. I don’t want to make her worry, but I also don’t want to withhold the entire truth. So the next time she says, “Mommy, are bad guys real?” I will tell her yes. But I will make sure I also tell her about all the amazing good guys who are out there, ready and waiting to head off the bad guys and make the world a better place.

#DaytonStrong