Accessibility, Inclusion and Diversity…..Oh My!

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Hopefully, you have seen the new Microsoft commercial featuring an adaptive controller. It ran during the Super Bowl in a primetime slot and has recently blown up the internet. If you haven’t seen it, click here to go watch it right now. I’ll wait. 

Do you have all the feels when Owen’s dad confesses, through tears, that one of his biggest fears was how Owen’s differences would be viewed by other kids, but that how when he’s playing he’s not different? My heart tried to jump out of my chest to hug him. Then the commercial ends with the tag line, 

“When everybody plays, we all win.”

As a mom of a child with a disability, inclusion is ALWAYS on my mind. Birthday parties. Playdates. School. Extracurricular activities. Communicating with peers. Entrance into buildings. Safety. There is no aspect of his life that looks typical. Sometimes this seems daunting to me and I am his mother. So how must this seem to families of his peers? I work hard to find ways of leveling the playing field to keep him included, it never occurred to me that other people may want to do that as well, but don’t know how. 

Even if your child doesn’t have a peer with a disability, these are good ways to help encourage inclusion with your children and increase their awareness of all the diversity in this world. 

Make sure disability is seen by your children.
Read books and watch movies/shows that have people with disabilities. When you are with your child and you come across someone with a disability, allow your child to ask questions. Don’t shush their curiosity and scold them for pointing or staring. You are perpetuating the stigma that disability is bad and we don’t talk about it. Polite curiosity is typically welcome by well-meaning parties and helps discourage the “us” and “them” grouping between the typically abled and disabled communities. Monitor language to be respectful. Stay away from “What’s wrong with him/her?” and point them more towards “How fast can your wheelchair go?” or “What does the tube help with?”

Don’t require that they make friends, but do ensure equality.
I know most parents are coming from a good place when they tell their kids they have to be friends with someone, but relationships with those with disabilities are no different than other relationships. If your child does not get along with another child due to personality differences, don’t force the situation. Your responsibility lies in ensuring that your child sees anyone with a disability as an equal, not a friend. Ensure that your child does not talk “baby-talk” to a peer with a disability. Have them refrain from patting anyone on the head, touching any assistive devices or pushing someone’s wheelchair without consent. Many times in our society, disability or being non-verbal seems to lead people to assume less intelligence. You will often see people address those around a person with a disability rather than the person themselves. Can you imagine if you were walking with a friend and a stranger came up and addressed your friend, saying “Well isn’t she just doing great? How old is she? She is just so sweet!” while you were standing right there. 

Extend the invitation. 
When you are having a birthday party, play-date, etc. and you aren’t sure if the child with a disability would be able to attend and participate, still send the invitation. Let them decide if it is accessible for them. You may want to send an extra note just stating you know it may be difficult for our child to participate in the party, but ask if there are ways you could include him/her. By recognizing that our child has a disability and asking how that could look for attending an event, you take down the main obstacle for inclusion, lack of foresight. 

Explain the accessible aspects of our society.
Show your children the handicapped spots in parking lots and explain why those are for certain people and not for just anyone’s convenience. Explain why some doors (I wish it were more!) have the button to open. Ensure that they know the larger stalls in the bathrooms are for those who may need extra space or assistance. Show them service dogs working and explain why some people may need a dog to help them function in society. Maybe even let your kids think of ways that they have seen accessibility in their world or ideas they may have to make thing more accessible. 

 

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