Recently, I was listening to an episode of my favorite podcast, Judge John Hodgman (look it up if you’ve never heard it). They were hearing cases from couples who clearly didn’t have children and brought complaints about their spouses shutting the door too loudly when getting up, or playing video games rather than helping out with dinner. There followed a lengthy conversation between the judge and Bailiff Jesse Thorn (both of whom have kids) about how strange it would be to be able to come home after work, make dinner, and sit in front of the TV to watch a show in peace and quiet. Or how lovely it would be to sleep all night without being woken up at 3 a.m. by a kid who thinks there’s a frog in her room (this literally happened to me last night). Oh, the joys of parenthood.
It got me thinking how easy my life was pre-kids and how exhausting it is now. And yes, it would be nice to have more time to chill on the couch in peace and quiet, but I wouldn’t change my hectic life for the world. While I totally support anyone who makes the decision to not have kids, for me personally I’m thankful these little terrors are part of my life.
Over the last five years, I’ve learned a lot of things about parenthood, including these four very important ones.
1. Coffee is pretty much the best thing ever
I am a typical British person and love tea. For my entire life, I would start my morning off with a nice cup of tea (milk, no sugar) and, if I was feeling crazy, two or three cups. This stayed my morning routine right up until my second child was born and I became a sleep-deprived zombie. Now, I still enjoy tea, but I drink coffee daily even now my son sleeps like a champ.
2. Daycare is SO EXPENSIVE
I love where my kids go to daycare. But I don’t love paying for it. We pay the same per month for daycare as we do for our mortgage. I even looked it up once and discovered that we pay the same for daycare as we would for in-state tuition at Ohio State. Yikes!
3. There are butts everywhere
I have always enjoyed talking about butts and poop (I’m a runner, poop talk is what we do), but since having kids I am surrounded by butts that are not my own. I’ve learned how to deal with those gritty poops that stick to the butt, and I’ve learned to expect that my preschooler will literally shove her butt in my face after a poop so I can make sure she did a good job wiping. On that same note, I now get to say things like “stop slapping your penis” or “please stop shaking your butt in my face and put on your PJs.”
4. Frozen is a great movie
My daughter was probably 3 before we watched Frozen for the first time. I knew it was super popular, but I wanted to try and avoid the whole “Let it Go” thing. But then I watched it and realized it’s a fantastic movie! Even after watching it for the 50th time, it still holds up, and not many movies can do that. We also really enjoyed Frozen 2 and look forward to it being available on Disney+!
What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about parenthood?
