If you can’t say anything nice… don’t say anything at all.
This phrase is a one I heard growing up over and over again, and I think we all need to ponder this before we post on social media and hide behind our computers and say and accuse and use our “free speech” excuse to bully.
I have had this conversation over and over again with my adult children; in fact, this post comes on the heels of my husband walking into my office to share with me what one of our kids just posted on Twitter The post was funny but not kind. I have raised my children to be independent thinkers and have their own convictions, but must have missed the mark on kindness.
It is so easy to hide behind your computer and type discontent with someone about politics, religion, current events, etc. Are these encounters we would have if we were face-to-face? All too often, I think we can post and comment on all sorts of venues and outlets and BECOME an alter ego because we are not actually interacting face-to-face.
Case in point, my son shared a funny article on Facebook that was satirical in nature and quite funny. Someone (a former coach he had) commented on it (without reading the article to see that it was satire) and told him how disappointed he was in him and how he was surprised that he reposted the article. He eventually read it and realized the comment was not appropriate. This same son posted his opinion about a certain kneeling incident in the news recently, and I shuttered as I read the horrible, ruthless, unkind things that were posted.
WE all have opinions and are entitled to our own opinion, but is it how we share those opinions that is the key.
Scrolling through Facebook I saw a great video that I actually reposted (and I rarely repost). It was of Josh Shipp talking to a group of kids about how their social media accounts = your public resume. Based on his ebook, Keeping Kids Safe on Social Media, he shares the experience he has with kids and challenges them to think before they post on social media. He asks the kids as he is about to post something on social media for all to see, is what he is about to post TRUE? And if it is not true, don’t post it. If it is true, you go to the second question, is it KIND? If it is KIND and TRUE, then it has gone through the proper filters. POST IT!
This isn’t just for kids. I see people post things and just SMH and think – WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??? Moms, we need to be careful what we post and run it through the same filter of is it TRUE and is it KIND. I have sent many personal messages to people or called and had incredible conversations with people who have posted things that concern me. It is a great opportunity to see what is going on in the lives of your friends and see how you may be able to help. I don’t post or get involved in the drama that may ensue. I try to go to the source and help.
Don’t get me wrong here, I have opinions and lots of them. I have opinions on politics, religion and the things going on in our country this very moment. There is a time and place to discuss all of these things and have healthy discussions and debates, and I don’t shy away from these opportunities. Social media is a tricky place to do that as you run things through the filter of is it TRUE and KIND.
Behind the screen is a real person, with real emotions and feelings, just like you. If you can’t say anything nice… don’t say anything at all.
