Fight for Your Fairytale

3,836 days. That is how long it’s been since we stood up in front of our family and friends and shared our sweet vows. Vows to spend the rest of our days making each other happy, enduring life’s challenges, loving each other through the good and the bad, and striving to choose one another every single day. Our real-life fairytale began.

It’s been 10 and a half years now since those promises were exchanged and life certainly has thrown us some curveballs. We have endured the pain of losses, we have walked through seasons of grief and loneliness, we have spoken out of anger instead of truth, and have each fallen short of those vows. However, one thing will always remain true… I choose you.

Marriage is hard. Let me say that again and a little louder; Marriage is HARD!

I remember our dating days; that giddy feeling that would bubble up inside of me and cover my face with a natural blush. I remember the engagement bliss; the planning and excitement that consumed my every thought. I remember that honeymoon stage; dreaming about the perfect storybook fairytale that I was certain we were about to embark upon. All of these led us newlyweds straight into marriage and, in turn, the reality that came along with that. Our early years of marriage were honesty the roughest. Learning to live with another person and all of their quirks can be fun and exciting, but also equally as difficult. Add in jobs, opposite work schedules, moves, losses, raising kids, and that will really crank it up a notch.

We always hear that marriage is 50/50, but I truly believe it has to be 100/100. Each person has to be 100% in, giving it their all. Let me just say, we are SO not there, but that is what we strive to do. Ten and a half years of marriage has taught me that the storybook fairytale I spent my younger years dreaming about does exist, but it doesn’t look anything like I thought it would. We are no longer well-rested newlyweds living with that innocent bliss high. That fairytale now looks like raising our precious kiddos and wearing what we call ‘sleepy eyes’ most days. Enjoying a 9:30 bedtime almost as much as going out. Fighting, and continually learning what it looks like to fight fair. Experiencing happiness just doing the mundane day-to-day things. Dancing in the kitchen. (This one I am sure will embarrass the kids one day.) Laughing, a lot. Like really belly laughing! That kind of joy I am certain has only come from years and years of learning one another.

We have walked through the lowest of lows, valleys as we like to call them. It is in those moments though that we have learned to appreciate the highs and those mountain views. He still makes my face blush, but now it’s when he compliments me in my sweats and my hot mess topknot. He sees me like REALLY sees me. He still fills my heart with joy. A joy that I never knew was possible, and one that dare, I say, is even better than that engagement or honeymoon stage.

I still dream of that fairytale life every now and then, but I quickly realize that this life will always be better than any fabricated one I could dream up. Our days may not be perfect, we each fall short of what we promised to aim for on our wedding day 10 years ago, but that one thing will always be true… we choose each other and this is our happily ever after.