Do you wish your husband knew exactly what you wanted him to do around your messy house?
Do you wish your significant other knew how to help you when you are sad or working through a decision?
Do you wish your partner knew how you wanted them to handle the kids in certain situations?
The hard truth is all of the above situations require communication, scads of communication.
He can’t read your mind.
Drawing experiences from my first marriage (that I failed at terribly in this area) and the many women and couples that I have counseled in my profession, this is a key area that we ALL can improve on.
I remember vividly cleaning the house in a huff and becoming more and more irritated as I did each task. My husband would ask, “What can I do to help?” and I would SCREAM at him, “Can’t you see what needs to be done? Why do I have to TELL you?”
And he didn’t see it, and I didn’t tell him; I expected him to read my mind.
Mama, read these words: HE CAN’T READ YOUR MIND!
You need to talk, and explain what you want and what you need.
You need to tell him what you need in the bedroom because he can’t read your mind.
You need to tell him how you want the dishwasher loaded because he can’t read your mind.
You need to tell him what you need as a support for your kids and discipline and how you will handle things because he can’t read your mind.
You need to talk about your hopes and dreams and goals because he can’t read your mind.
You need to tell him when you are scared and when you are secure because he can’t read your mind.
Communication is the key here and it extends to our children, too.
My 6-year-old is really good at throwing temper tantrums so we have been trying to teach him how to communicate his feelings when he has a fit. Just the other day, after sitting in time-out to calm down, he explained that he gets so frustrated that he doesn’t get to make all of his own decisions and live his own life. He wants to live his best 6-year-old life, and we are there for it, to teach him how to make his own decisions. He communicated clearly and we could talk it out because we can’t read his mind either.
So next time you are frustrated with something you wish he KNEW, stop and tell him. We really should not get angry at someone who doesn’t know something that we haven’t spent the time explaining and communicating.
He can’t read your mind and you can’t read his… so start talking.