I’ve never really had many friends that were girls. Or a whole lot of friends for that matter.
As an adult woman, when my girlfriends get together, I typically decline. When my friends go on a women’s retreat and invite me, I break out in hives at the very invitation. It is not that I don’t love my friends, I truly have some amazing friends, and I love them dearly.
I’ve never really had a “best” friend.
Over the years, I have had great friends, friends for a season: friends due to proximity to where I lived or where I worked, friends out of obligation and friends that will be there for you, even if a month goes by and you don’t talk to one another. I have college friends, church friends, friends that have kids the same age as my kids and friends I have met through other friends. I have Facebook friends, Instagram friends, adoption friends, and ministry friends.
I have thought about this for decades and I blame the lack of estrogen in my life due to being raised with two brothers and mothering four boys. And also the fact that women scare me. The relationships with women are different than the relationships you have with men. I’ve kept my self safe in my little testosterone bubble and marched on.
Recently, one of my oldest and dearest friends lost her grandfather. He was very special to me as well, so I found myself grieving with her. On the last night of his life, as my friend sat with him holding his hand, I couldn’t sleep. I found myself up all night, praying for her and her family and texting her to see how she was doing. It was an honor to stand beside her and be there for her. In the middle of the night, I came to a realization of all of the amazing women who have stood by me and cared for me. There isn’t just one best friend. I have been blessed with “Best Girls,” to steal a phrase from my sweet Nell.
Memories flooded my mind of my friends – My Best Girls.
I remembered that one weekend when I found out my husband was leaving me, my sweet friend Jennifer flew from Atlanta to spend the weekend with me and cry with me.
I remembered when I moved, there were so many people there to help me, pack, and clean, and then a whole new set of people at the new house to help unpack and clean.
I remembered when I got married, my friends brought food for my family that were visiting all weekend, so all I had to do was visit. I came home to a full fridge, complete with paper plates, coolers filled with drinks and a note that said “Enjoy your family.”
I remembered the countless Frisch’s grilled cheese and french fry platters I consumed with my friend Nell, talking over huge life decisions and problems. Not solving any of them but being together made them easier to handle.
I remembered that our friends Dale and Carrie were at our house five minutes after we got home with our newly adopted son, with a diaper bag in hand.
I remembered the beautiful shower that my friends Laura and Amy had for us when Eli unexpectedly joined our family.
I remembered my friend Amber driving five hours to surprise me for my birthday.
I remembered my friend Stacia coming to my house to deliver Christmas presents I had ordered, while trying to keep myself together as my mom was dying. She handed me a shirt that said, “Bless this Hot Mess”, and I was a hot mess.
I remembered when my mom was dying my sweet friend Tedi came to see my family, Bob Evans dinner in-hand for my entire family and hugged me so tightly.
I remembered my friends driving in a snowstorm to support me at my mom’s viewing and funeral, which made me feel loved more then they could ever know.
And these are just a few of the memories that flooded my mind.
As I sat there in the middle of the night, I realized that I have the “best girls” in my life.
Friendships are hard, friendships grow as we grow, and some friendships end. Some friendships happen with ease, some friendships take a ton of work. Nonetheless, we need friends, and our lives are made so much richer by having them, and by being one.
So do you have “best girls?” Take a few quiet moments to think (it doesn’t have to be in the middle of the night). I think you will be amazed as I was at all the friends in your life.
