Let’s Celebrate Working Moms (Yes…That Means You!)

To work or not to work?

That question has challenged moms for decades. Or, more specifically, to work outside the home or not. Because, let’s be real. Every mom works, whether she receives a paycheck or not. And you are worthy either way!

I was lucky enough to grow up in a family that had both traditional female role models and non-traditional. Some of my most precious memories are from time spent with my paternal grandmother who exemplified the stay-at-home mother role. She made everything from scratch, cooked enough food for armies (with 7 kids who gave her 26 grandkids, vast amounts of food were important). With all that cooking, she never owned a dishwasher, instead hand washing everything. When she wasn’t cooking, she would be praying the rosary, playing canasta or walking to church with whatever grandkids were lucky enough to be with her. She was a kind and gentle spirit who taught us all about having a servants spirit. She never worked outside of the home, but she worked hard inside her home to create a loving and welcoming environment for all those who entered.

My maternal grandmother was the opposite, working outside the home for as long as I can remember and way before that as shown in this newspaper from 1929. She worked when women didn’t work outside the home and she was very talented. Despite having a nervous break down in her 30s, she went on to have an amazing career in real estate working until she was nearly 80. I don’t remember her cooking much, although she made a delicious pound cake and fruitcake that could double as a cocktail.

Then there was my mom.

She and my dad opened their own real estate company with my grandmother around the time I was 8. So for most of my life, my mom worked incredibly long hours, including nights and weekends, until she was in her mid-80s and thoroughly loved every minute. Her cooking expertise was limited to a few casseroles, a killer chocolate chip pie, and her favorite Stouffer’s lasagna. The house I grew up in was not fancy, but everyone always felt welcome. The back door was always unlocked, and friends and family were always dropping by.

Loads of aunts and older cousins, along with a card group of moms’ friends, impacted the paths I would take as I became a mom. At first, I wanted to stay at home with my babies. I loved everything about being a mom and taking care of my home (although I was not the most organized). Cooking became a hobby, trying to find recipes the kids and the husband would like. I must have received the cooking gene from my paternal grandmother.

As my girls grew older, I began to feel less adequate as a stay-at-home mom.

Sure, I volunteered at school and took on big roles, but something was missing. I am not sure whether I put this feeling in my head or if it came from society, but wherever it came from, it instilled a feeling that I needed to do more to fit in our community. I didn’t feel like I could contribute to conversations in social gatherings with my husband and his work colleagues. I had this feeling that there was more that I needed to do, but was not sure what that looked like. My degree in communications seemed like a good place to start. But how could I use it now?

Working part-time seemed to be the best way to ease into working outside the home for me. Through networking and watching different employment sites, I found several interesting and fulfilling positions that applied the skills I developed in college and beyond. As time went on, and after testing the waters in several areas, I decided I was ready to work full-time. My daughters were in college at this point, so full-time parenting was over. Living in the same community for over 20 years, I made a list of a few places that I was hoping to find employment. I was fortunate to have choices after over 20 years post-college and found the perfect job post-children outside the home. 

So, while I was primarily a ‘stay’ at home mom, I found the balance that was perfect for my family.