There’s a wave of self-care importance that is flooding my social media feed these days. Everywhere I look there are posts about how vital self-care is. All of a sudden everything is “self-care.” It seems that getting enough sleep is self-care, and it can also be an all-inclusive beach vacation.
When I think of self-care, I think of pedicures, a bubble bath, long lunches on a patio somewhere, or staying up late to finish a novel. It all sounds lovely, doesn’t it? Just an hour of quietness to drink hot coffee and flip through a magazine. Yes, I think to myself, I need this. I deserve this.
Social media is baiting me in – it’s OKAY to need more “me time.” It’s normal, every Mom is making more time to put themselves first. It’s society-approved. The whole “put your own oxygen mask on first” concept is heavily backing the self-care epidemic.
But, the thing is, I have two little babies that are both still in diapers.
It goes without saying that I am overjoyed to be their mom, and as of recently, their full-time Stay At Home Mom. However, the words “self-care” and the accompanying images conjure mostly frustration for me. During this stage of my life, a realistic goal for my self-care routine is changing my underwear. Some days, when I hear my husband’s car pull in the driveway around 5:30 p.m., I run upstairs to brush my teeth for the first time. Pretty low standards, I know.
This is okay with me right now. I had years of sleeping in, taking 45 minutes to straighten my hair, getting a second mimosa with brunch, and what I know now as the Holy Grail – grocery shopping alone. That’s not where I am anymore though.
I made a decision to have a family, and right now, they come first. The quote, “the nights are long but the years are short” rings in my head constantly. I know that one day, not long from now, I’ll get to shower without shutting off the water to listen for babies waking early from their naps. Maybe I will even get to shave my legs. Tell me I’m not alone in this? Other Moms out there are skipping the flossing, too, right now, right?
But in an effort to maybe set my goals a little higher than clean underwear, I’ve decided to take some lessons from my toddler, who, I’ve noticed, is on top of her self-care game.
Five Self-Care Lessons from my 2-and-a-Half-Year-Old:
- Shower every other day (always use bubbles)
- Use lotion daily, apply everywhere
- Hydrate – leave multiple sippy cups around the house as a reminder
- Take a good 15 minutes to slow roll brushing my teeth
- Change your underwear (multiple times a day as needed)
Where exactly did my toddler pick up her stellar self-care routine? She must be watching someone take care of themselves? I start to look around. Ah, of course, it’s my husband, who, on average, takes two showers a day. Yes, on average, which means that on days that he works out over lunch he takes three showers a day. Folks, that’s higher than my weekly average.
I start to notice other similarities; her skincare routine looks familiar, too, and she is actually using the same Trader Joe’s facial lotion that my husband does. Maybe I should take a few notes out of my husband’s self-care playbook. Do men even call it “self-care?”
While I am still content to be putting my self-care needs second during this stage of my life, it’s possible I could put some basic needs further towards the top of my priority list. But, I know that one day my little humans won’t need me as much, and I hope that long shower sounds just as good to me then as it does to me now.
