Earlier this year, we endured something that I would never wish on any mother – the hospitalization of our newborn.
I realize that three kids in, I’m very blessed to have only one hospital stay under my belt but it was both a very trying and a very growing experience. As soon as I heard the words “admitting him” from the doctor in the ER, I knew that things were looking very serious and my mama heart just wanted to break in half. Throughout the next five days of his hospitalization, we went through some scary and hard days. But we were also blessed by many friends and family stepping up and helping us out during that time.
One thing that this hospitalization taught me was how to help a family who is in need in this way.
I wanted to share some of the incredible ways that people helped us out.
- Food. Hospital food is not always great. In our case, we were admitted to a Children’s’ Hospital, and the cafeteria only served food to children. Since my son was 5 weeks old, he wouldn’t be eating anything! My husband and I were so hungry and everyone who brought food was immediately our favorite person in the world. One friend brought fresh fruit, one friend ordered a pizza to be delivered to the hospital lobby, one friend ordered takeout and dropped it off for us. One friend brought by our favorite little treat from our favorite restaurant. One friend dropped off groceries at our house. As parents with a hospitalized newborn, we didn’t have the time to think about food until we were suddenly so hungry we couldn’t do anything else. It was nerve-wracking to leave the baby at the hospital to go out in search of food and it was also slightly stressful on the wallet to be eating out every meal. We were so grateful for those meals that were brought to us and for the snack food that we ended up keeping in the hospital room for those late nights sitting by the little one’s bed.
- Prayers & Encouragement. So many people took the time to send us a text, an email, or a message on social media, and those messages carried me through some really hard days and nights. It was just a simple acknowledgment of the hardship we were facing and an encouraging word or two. If you can do nothing else, or you live far away, please sit down and take just two minutes to send a word or two of encouragement and prayer!
- Childcare. In our case, we had two older children who were at home and we felt we had to divide ourselves between home and the hospital. When our friend stepped up to stay with our older kids so we could both be at the hospital, we were so relieved and grateful. It wasn’t easy being away from the big kids, and it wasn’t easy to be at home and away from the hospitalized baby, so having childcare provided was immensely helpful.
- Errand Runs. When we were in the hospital, the rest of life came to a grinding halt. I was so emotionally exhausted, I couldn’t even think of all the other things that needed to be done in our world. A friend delivered groceries, another friend offered to take the kids to an appointment that we had already set up. There are so many little things that happen in our daily life that we don’t even think about until we suddenly can’t do them anymore. Filling up the car with gas, getting groceries, and even stepping in to clean at home or do a load of laundry was incredibly helpful.
- Comfort Items. If you are able, I would highly recommend giving some comfort items to the parent who is staying at the hospital. The hospital rooms alternate between ice cold and roasting hot, and there is no thermostat adjustments or windows to open. I found having a sweatshirt, socks, slippers, a blanket and pillow on hand were incredibly helpful for my comfort level, which meant I was more stable and able to help the baby. I also benefited from ear buds, an eye mask, and a good book or coloring book. In many situations, the parents left the house in a hurry and didn’t think to grab anything, let alone some of those needed comfort items.
- If possible, visit! There are many reasons for a child to be hospitalized. Born premature, or born with concerns that require observation or surgery. Some children are hospitalized because of illness, some are hospitalized for a surgery. Some are hospitalized due to an accident or a broken bone. There are some instances where a visit is not recommended or even allowed, but if at all possible, one of the most encouraging thing you can do for a parent is to pay them a visit. Keep the visit very short and make sure you always bring a treat. Be flexible if they would rather meet in the lobby or outside the room, but just let them know that you are there. Our hearts were so encouraged by those who chose to swing by in person – it felt like the ultimate act of support and love.
I wish I could say that I learned all these things from the generosity of my own heart, but unfortunately, in this case, we were on the receiving end. I’m so thankful for the way that so many came forward to help us, and I hope and pray that everyone experiencing a hospitalization will receive the type of support that we did!
