Our Son: An Open Letter To My Son’s Birth Mother

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An open letter to my son's birth mother.
An open letter to my son’s birth mother.

I am a mother, I have a son. A son who is spirited, handsome, healthy, fun, smart, and perfect. He’s ours. When I say ours I don’t just mean me and my husband. I mean myself, my husband, our sons first mother, and his first father. We are an adoptive family. Lots led us to adoption, but what matters is we’re here. Our only son (for now) has what the adoption world calls a closed adoption. It was his first mother’s choice.

When I catch myself saying “our son” a whole world unknown to others opens up in my head. The world our son started in, the world he lives in, and the world he’ll grow into. Those feelings have inspired me to write this. It’s an open letter to our son’s first mama.


 

 

 

Dear Mother,

I see you. I see you in his sweet morning smiles and his crazy amazing laughs. I see you in his perseverance and tenacity. I see you in his skin, in his eyes, and in his hair. I see you all the time. I see you when I push a swing and chase a happy boy through the park. I hear you in his babble before he falls asleep, telling his hoot owl and his wubble doggie night night.

I hear you in the I love you’s and the ut-oh’s. I hear you in the giggles that precede his sleep in that way only slap happy giggles can. I hear you in the silence of night time and in the cries of our son that call for mama in the dark night.

I feel you the hours I spend on our son’s hair. I feel you when I’m kissing boo boo’s and giving reassuring hugs. I feel you in the wee hours of the morning when I get a foot in the back. I feel you when I catch our spirited love as he’s thrashing in a tantrum. I feel the weight of you when I carry a sleeping child in from the car. I felt you when we brought a tiny baby out of the hospital for the first time.

There’s a sense of you that I’ve tried to put words to and I just cannot find the right ones. It’s the sense when I call him ours, he’s not just ours but yours too. The way I think it is said best is this quote

[quote style=”boxed”]“He is mine in a way he’ll never be hers, yet he is hers in a way he’ll never be mine. Together we are motherhood.”[/quote]

I’ll never know the agony of handing our son to another mother. It hurts me to imagine how hard that was. I am writing this to you to tell you that I see you, I hear you, and I feel you. Because of this, I teach our son to see you, hear you, and feel you. When I tell him “I love you” I say it from me and I say it from you. I pray one day you are able to say it to him from you. That day will be a great day. Until then mother, I will do my best to raise this sweet baby into a strong man.

We love you. All of you.

Until We Meet,

Your Son’s Other Mother

 

 

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Beth Hoos
Hi! I'm Beth. I grew up in Troy, OH and now am in Beavercreek, OH. So I've spent my whole life in the Dayton area. I've been married to my high school sweetheart for 7 years. We have two boys, an almost two year old named Jack and a two year old who is currently residing in an orphanage in Bulgaria. We should have our oldest son home in Spring of 2016! We are a transracial adoptive family. My passion for adoption and orphan care has inspired me to be an Adoption Doula. I am a co-creator of the Dayton Area Adoption and Foster Care Discussion and Support group. I believe children belong in families! In my free time I love to hike, sew, and watch and play soccer! My favorite hiking place is the Russ Nature Reserve in Beavercreek!

1 COMMENT

  1. Beth,
    That was beautiful. I caught a glimpse of the awesome amount of love you have in you and share with your son. What an amazing tribute to all mothers who lovingly carry a baby in them and allow the child to join a new family. I love your letter!
    Thank you for sharing that with us!

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