I just put him in bed for the night. I can’t help but think of you, as I lay down “Our Son”.
Tomorrow he turns 1. I’ve got the cute obligatory 1st birthday shirt, and can’t wait to celebrate him tomorrow.
Can you believe he will be 1?
I met you a year ago and as I made that several hour journey to meet you, I had no idea what the next few days would hold.
We had a nice night of getting to know each other, and asking questions about each other, the future was so unsure. As we left, I didn’t know how to feel or what to think. My husband and I drove home in silence, both reflecting on our meeting and what we were feeling led to do. We thought you were sweet and lost. We didn’t know if our stories would be woven together or not.
I remember telling my best friend that I just didn’t know what we should do. We had some time to decide, about 2 weeks until your due date, and she encouraged me to pray. She very confidently told me to pray and ask God to make it clear to us if this is what we should do. She said pray for an answer, pray and ask God to make it clear to you in 12 hours. I hung up the phone with her and told my husband and glanced at the clock in the van, 9:01 p.m.
The next day, with the previous night still swirling in my head, I went to work. It was a busy week in the life of a children’s minister, Vacation Bible School, so I prayed before the day began and asked God to let us know what we should do. Around 11:15, I got a frantic call from your sister. She explained that she had heard from the hospital and that you had had the baby, and you and the baby were not doing well. I tried to pull myself together and finish the day at Bible school. As the day went on we got more and more information about how you were and how he was.
In conversation with your sister, I asked what time he was born, she said, “Oh, they told me it was 9:00 a.m.” And just like that, he became “Ours”.
The days that followed led us to the Hoosier state, for some time in the NICU and to allow time for the Interstate adoption to take place. With a great group of attorneys, nurses, and doctors, we were taking the final steps to bring him home.
You came to visit us in the NICU on Father’s Day, and what a sweet visit. I had been singing praises to God that day of what a good, good father He is, in weaving our lives together, you held “Our” son and we captured the moments with pictures that I treasure.
In August, you were headed to rehab, and you came for a visit to our home, and we prayed for you and you held him, fed him a bottle, and kissed his head, telling him how much you loved him. You ended up not going to rehab and I was so afraid that was the last time we would see you alive. Months would go by without a word, just updates on you from your sister. In and out of the hospital, in and out of jail, with an occasional Facebook message. All the while, I would send you pics and give you updates. You are such a beautiful writer and I cherish the cards and letters you sent to us.
Now 6 months later, on the eve before “Our” son’s birthday, as I type and couldn’t be more proud of who you are becoming. Sober, working and getting your life back together, making good choices, new friends and you have a brand new lease on life. Take it a day at a time, remember to breathe, put one foot in front of the other and press on.
Tomorrow he turns 1, and as I tuck him in bed, and kiss him, I’m thinking of you. I’m thinking of how far you have come from a short year ago, and what the future holds. I’m remembering how God answered my prayer and made it evident to me that our stories should be woven together, with one minute to spare. Tomorrow I’ll tell him how much we love him and tell him how much you love him and look forward to when we can celebrate his birthday together.
“Our” Son changed my life, I am so grateful for you.