In The Blink of an Eye {When Your Child Goes Missing}

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Heart pounding, panic rising, eyes frantically darting, desperation setting in…

All of the worst case scenarios running through my head in rapid succession.

It’s been maybe 3 minutes since I last saw my daughter running around the splash pad, blonde pony tail bobbing around, brightly colored swim suit flashing before my eyes as she runs through the geysers of water bubbling up from the too hot cement. 

Please God just let me see her now and I’ll never ask for anything ever again.”

…and then I see one of my friends walking toward me from the parking lot and she’s carrying my baby.

Genevieve had wondered out to the parking lot and was standing in the middle of one of the grass islands calling for me.  I have no idea why, or when. There is no excuse, I simply took my eyes off of her for one tiny moment. It happened in the blink of an eye.I’m not even going to talk to you about the mom guilt. You’re all moms, you know. You know the inner dialogue that was running on loop. Instead, I’m going to talk about what I’ve learned since that day. After scouring the internet, talking to friends in law enforcement, and talking with mom friends who have had similar experiences, I’ve compiled a list of things we can do to prevent and prepare for that moment that you realize your little has run off or become lost. 

Prevention & Preparation:

  1. Take a photo of your child the morning of an event. If you’re going to a state fair, take a photo of your child in the outfit that they will be wearing that day. In the event that your child becomes lost or goes missing, you will have an accurate picture and description ready to show to law enforcement.
  2. Write your phone number on their wrist and cover it with liquid band aid. If your child becomes lost, they can find an adult and easily provide your phone number. The liquid band-aid will prevent it from rubbing off.
  3. Teach children ages 4 and up to memorize your phone number. “If they can learn a song, they can learn a phone number.” says Child Development Expert, Dr. Deborah Gilboa.
  4. Assume you’ll get separated. “Give your kids lots of reminders about staying together, but also talk about what you’ll do when you can’t find each other,” said Gilboa. “This makes kids less scared when it happens and makes the whole group more prepared.”
  5. For older kids: If you’re at an event that has assigned seats, put their ticket stubs in their pocket. If they get lost they should be able to find an employee and get help finding their way back to you.

Immediate Action {should your child go missing}:

  1. This step is supposed to say “Stay calm.” And I guess you should, but I find that tip a little amusing. I have exactly zero chill when I can’t find my kid. 
  2. Look EVERYWHERE. Use the people around you. Divide and conquer. If you’re near a body of water, check there first. Check unlocked cars. Check parking lots. 
  3. Shout loud and clear who you’re looking for. “3 years old, blonde hair, purple shirt.” Yell loud and tell everyone you can. Quick timing and detail are key.
  4. If you’re in a building (mall, big box store, etc) contact an employee or security. A lot of places have their own protocol, including locking the store down until the child has been found. 
  5. If you determine that your child is truly missing, contact authorities right away. Do not question the importance of calling the police, trust your instincts.

Have you ever had an experience like mine? If so, please share your stories and any advice you may have. 

1 COMMENT

  1. This is so necessary and something that we so often think “it would never happen to me”. Haha. We all know it takes a kid two seconds to just be…gone. I also have found it really helpful when we are going to an event or a crowded place (zoo, amusement park, fair, even an event) to stand together as a family AS SOON AS WE HAVE ENTERED and choose a “meeting spot” in case we get separated. Sometimes it might be the police booth or the main doors, but we always have that spot that at least one parent can go to and wait.

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