A Letter To My Firstborn: Before You Become A Big Sister


There are so many mom blogs out there talking about the transition from one to two kids. Probably because it’s such a major milestone for us mommas and for those firstborn children, like you. Most of those blogs seem to address the mommies—explaining how, hard as it might be to believe—your heart can in fact love a second little human as much as the one you already have in your arms. I don’t doubt that because I’ve seen so many friends experience that transformation already. My concerns as I approach the end of my second pregnancy center around you, my sweet firstborn daughter, and how you’ll adjust to your new role as the big sister.

In just a couple of weeks, your world is going to change. People keep asking me if you’re ready, and I don’t know how to answer that question. You excitedly tell everyone you meet that you’re going to have a baby sister. You also love to share the news of her name with anyone who asks. But at the end of the day, you’re not even three years old yet, and this is going to be one of the first major changes you’ve endured in your short life.

While I know in the long run this change is for the better, I fear it’s going to be the kind of change that stops you in your tracks and takes some getting used to. It’s been just the three of us for almost three years now—all you really know is being the center of attention and the center of our family. You changed our world when you busted into it nearly 7 weeks early, and you haven’t stopped changing it from the moment you arrived. It’s time for you to learn to share that attention with your baby sister, and I know it will make you a better person in the long run. But I still find myself praying you aren’t too upset in the days and weeks ahead as we make this transition from a family of three to a family of four.

As we approach these final weeks of my pregnancy, it’s hard not to let my emotions run wild. Instead of focusing on what you’re “losing” by no longer being an only child, I want to focus on what I know you’ll be gaining instead.

While you may not have undivided attention from Mommy and Daddy anymore, you’ll have a little sister to play with, to love, and most likely, to boss around. I can give you plenty of tips about being the bossy big sister—it’s a role I’ve learned well.

While I’m sure you’re learning to play with others and to share at daycare each day, you’ll be forced to remember those skills all the time with a little sister at home. You’ll learn to share your toys, your old clothes, and Mommy and Daddy’s attention.

You’ll learn to be a helper. When Mommy and Daddy are changing diapers or feeding your baby sister, I know you’ll find ways to pitch in where you can. 3 is going to be the perfect time for you to start taking on some little responsibilities, and I know you’ll love the opportunity to help out any chance you get.

A sister is a friend for life. Even if you fight like cats and dogs (I hope that you don’t, but realize you likely will), your sister is a built in best friend. You might share secrets, gang up on your parents, or create your own language. Maybe you’ll do all three. I hope you love having that special friend at home to grow up with.

My biggest hope for you is that you will cherish the gift of having a sister. I hope you’ll love her with your whole heart. I hope you’ll be a positive role model. I hope one day you both will stand beside each other on your wedding days. I hope you recognize that a sister is more than just a friend; she is someone who shares your childhood, your parents, and your memories. I hope you’ll value her as much in the future as I value my own sister today.

Thank you for making me a mommy on that June day almost three years ago. It’s been the adventure of a lifetime. Now it’s my turn to make you a big sister, and I hope it brings you just as much joy.


  1. This is such a good read. I’m sitting here at my desk in tears. 🙁 There are so many emotions when a new baby enters the family and you nailed it.

    • There are definitely a million different emotions involved! It’s exciting, scary, happy, and sad all at once. That’s parenthood, huh?

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