On a Mission to Start Our Own Holiday Traditions

“It’s the most wonderful time of year,” says everyone. But what they fail to mention is that it’s also the busiest, most stressful and most chaotic time of year when it comes to fitting in all of the numerous holiday celebrations. And when you add littles ones into the mix, the holiday hustle and bustle seems to get 100x more complicated and just plain exhausting.

When my husband and I first started dating nine years ago and the holiday season rolled around, we took a “big step” in our relationship and started attending each other’s family functions together. Luckily, neither one of us had to do much in the sacrifice department since not many of the celebrations overlapped. The worst backlash came from my mom when I told her I wouldn’t be able to make our family’s Christmas dinner anymore, even though I spent Christmas Eve and all of Christmas day with my family… She’d have to get over it, I remember telling myself.

And so began our crazy holiday norm. Thanksgiving lunch with my family. Thanksgiving dinner with his. Christmas Eve with my family. Christmas morning, our only time just the two of us. Christmas day with my family again. Christmas night with his family. The day after Christmas with his family again. And we STILL manage to upset someone every year – either we leave one gathering too early and we miss seeing someone who was arriving late, or we’re running behind and holding up the meal at our next stop.

Even when we had our first baby in late November – right in the thick of the holiday season – two years ago, the madness didn’t stop. In between all of the sleepless nights, feedings, naps and whaling (both us and him), we made it to every family get-together. And believe me, we were worse for the wear.

But last year was the nail in the coffin, so to speak. Our son had just turned one and was constantly on-the-go, which made it impossible for me and my husband to relax and enjoy the holidays. Missed naps, late nights and new toy overload wreaked havoc on our three-day Christmas marathon, which felt more like a sprint. So this year, we’re on a mission to start our own holiday traditions.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not a total Grinch. I know that spending time with family is a BIG part of what the holidays are all about. But I think it’s important to make sure we’re making time to celebrate as our own little family unit, too – especially after adding another tiny human to our crew this November. So this year, we’re going to be home in time on Christmas Eve to set out cookies for Santa and read “The Night Before Christmas.” And this year, we’re not leaving our house on Christmas day, so that we can soak in every minute of our toddler playing with his new toys and of all of the baby snuggles to our hearts’ content.

And I hope our families will understand. Understand that we’re not making these decisions out of spite or to hurt anyone’s feelings. Understand that we need time to celebrate the holidays in our own way, with our own babies. Understand that, sometimes, old traditions have to be broken for new ones to start.