Want to Be Happier and Raise Happier Kids? Say Thank You!

Believe it or not, there is a science to gratitude.

An October 2018 study, done at the University of Hong Kong, showed that actively practicing gratitude was positively linked with motivation and achievement in students, as reported by both the students themselves and their teachers. If that wasn’t enough to motivate you to enhance your gratitude practice and that of your children, then know gratitude can help outside of the classroom as well.

There is strong evidence that supports gratitude as a worthy combatant to depression, an extender of our life span, a component of better sleep quality and a huge factor in increasing our overall happiness. Studies have found that when we actively express and practice gratitude there is greater activation in the medial prefrontal cortex of our brain and the benefits are long-lasting.  So the question is not IF we should seek out ways to teach ourselves and our kids to practice gratitude, the question is HOW do we do this and WHEN do we start. 

GRATITUDE PRACTICE

JOURNAL: Write down the good things that happen each week. Keep the journal readily available and regularly ask if there is anything they would like to add to the feel-good journal that day. 

THANKFUL JAR: Have a jar with some scrap paper out at your house. Every time something happens that you or your kids are thankful for, write it down and throw it in the jar. You can go through the jar as often as you like – it’s fun to do on New Year’s Eve each year. 

LISTING STRENGTHS: Make sure your gratitude practice isn’t always about external factors. Have your kids regularly talk about their strengths and different ways they use them to their best potential. It is important to model this behavior. Listing our own strengths and being proud of them will go a long way in helping self-esteem and happiness in us and our children. 

TABLECLOTH: Go Macaroni Grill style and have a simple white tablecloth (they are super cheap on Amazon) that you have out at dinner and let everyone illustrate what they are thankful for that day. This can be fun to fill up and then pull back out from time to time. 

COLLAGE: Have them illustrate something they are thankful for in nature. They can cut out pictures from a magazine, newspaper or even give them a camera and let them venture out to find their gratitude in nature. Have a space in your house that can display the collage. 

THANK YOU NOTES: Write thank you notes or letters with your kiddos. These can be for anything. They don’t have to be for a big sweeping gesture and, here’s the kicker, you don’t have to deliver the notes if that is too much at first. Your brain will reap the benefits of expressing the gratitude even without delivering it to the person, especially if you make it a regular practice.

BLOG: Help your kids start a blog where they can type what they are thankful for and publish it. Obviously, you can do this in a small manner with a password protected blog site, or something similar, that family and friends can have access to. Encourage them to also recognize times when things were rough and help them work through why they felt that way. 

VIDEO: Do video interviews with your kids from time to time about what they are thankful for that day or something funny that happened to them. My kids love going back and watching themselves and sometimes get a kick out of what they used to be thankful for. 

A GIFT OF TIME: As your kids come to realize how to express their gratitude, and they are emotionally mature enough, continue to push their practice to serve others. What are they doing to help others experience gratitude?

Scientists say that these techniques shift our thinking from negative outcomes to positive ones, elicit a surge of feel good hormones like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, and build enduring personal connections. We want to ensure that we don’t make it too daunting of a task for our kids, especially as they are still emotionally maturing. Don’t put pressure or require they only be thankful for certain “type” of things, their practice will grow on its own.

Let them define what their practice will look like for them….and be thankful for it!