To the Mama with Empty Arms This Mother’s Day

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Sunday, May 11th, 2014 – I remember it like it was yesterday.

My first Mother’s Day without her; with empty arms. Weeks before, the card aisle had been transformed into nothing but shades of pink, flowers lined the checkout lanes, and sappy commercials flooded the TV. It was everywhere. A constant reminder of a day that I was supposed to be celebrating, but instead was one of my hardest. There would be no matching dresses, no sloppy good morning baby kisses, or picture perfect Facebook post.

I wrestled hard with whether or not I even deserved to be acknowledged that day, and then if so, what that would look like. I was a Mama missing her baby, yet from the outside, I’m sure that didn’t show.

Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a child, or the triggers that will follow. I had been told this many times after losing our daughter, Savannah; however, what no one talked about was the fact that, at times, my arms would actually ache for her. That the weight of her loss would be one that was not only felt on the inside but the outside as well. There was this heaviness that could only be compared to carrying around her little 4 pound 14-ounce body, and yet she wasn’t there.

I went through that first Mother’s Day without my daughter feeling a myriad of emotions. From intense grief, missing the precious girl who gave me the title of Mama, to feeling extremely grateful for her and the brief little life she was blessed with. They say that a grief journey is a lot like riding a roller coaster, but I’m quite certain I rode through an entire theme park that day.

I remember feeling very alone, as though I was the only one to have ever experienced this holiday after the loss of a baby. That there was no way others have felt this way and made it through. Yet since then, I’ve realized just how many other Mamas were also sitting with empty arms that exact day.

That’s why this one is for you, the Mama with empty arms… whether you’ve lost a pregnancy or child, or are in the thick of the waiting season, this is for you.

You are strong. Even stronger than you think you are, and others see this in you, too. It takes great strength to carry the weight of loss around, and Mama, you’re doing it.

You are never alone. In fact, you are in good company. I’ve been there and so have countless others. We are standing with you today.

You are brave. You woke up today and your feet hit the floor. Sometimes that is the best thing we can do, and you know what… that’s pretty darn good.

You are seen. Even when your grief is hidden, you are not.

You are loved. By your spouse, family, friends, and even me. My heart is with you, Mama.

You are still their Mama, and always will be. Nothing can separate the love a Mother has for her child.

You are celebrated and remembered. Though we may sit with empty arms today, we can say our hearts are full. Full of love for our children and full because the title they left us with is one to be celebrated. Not just on Mother’s Day, but every day.

Happy Mother’s Day to you, Mama!

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Rebecca
Hey there, I'm Rebecca! I am a believer, proud military wife, Mama of 4; 2 in Heaven and 2 here with us. I’m originally from Florida, but we moved to Ohio about three years ago and I honestly LOVE the change. Dayton was quick to feel like home to us, and we've definitely been enjoying the seasons! Being a Mom is the happiest full-time job, but I love making the time to keep up with my personal interests as well. I run a blog and Instagram @theivynest; where I share a bit of our story and everyday life, along with my love of home decor and keeping things simple. Life is definitely busy, but I truly believe that it is equally as beautiful when we choose to see it that way!