It was like almost something magical happened after my son blew out the number 2 candle on his birthday cake for his second birthday. He wasn’t just a baby anymore, he was officially a toddler in my book.
And with that, the terrible twos were just beginning.
An older gentleman, with every kind intention, recently compared my son’s disruptions and destructions to the Tasmanian devil cartoon character. Sadly, I couldn’t agree more.
Where was the innocent little boy who would come to me for cuddles? Where were the impromptu kisses and hugs?
Those are still in him, but as he is getting older, so are a lot of other feelings and emotions.
Shortly after “mom,” “dad” and “sissy” came the phrases “I need this,” “move,” and every toddler’s favorite, “no.”
It’s a struggle not to fight with my son. He is persistent and stubborn and has been that way even before he was born (choosing his own birth date rather than the date my OB had scheduled my c-section, for example).
While trying to give him the freedom to learn and grow up, it’s difficult to not get emotional when he is acting his worst.
On days where my son is truly testing my limits are the times where it’s hardest to remain cool, calm and collected. I know that if I get irate and angry, as much as I might be feeling inside, it won’t do any good as he learns to control his emotions.
One way I’ve been able to control my emotions when my son’s temper tantrums are the worst is walking away from him (if we’re at home or a place that is safe to do so) and taking a few deep breaths to recollect my thoughts. This doesn’t give him the attention he’s craving and helps me emotionally prepare for what I’m going to say to him next.
Another action that’s been good for my son, but didn’t work as well with my girls, has been picking him up and holding him in a comforting hug. My girls usually calmed down shortly after I let them get through their temper tantrums. My son though, again being stubborn, will continue kicking and fussing until he feels he has released his emotions. I’ve learned with most of his temper tantrums I can pick him up, put his head on my shoulder and gently rock him. It may take a while, but this is one way I have gotten him to calm down faster.
I’ve also had to accept that sometimes things won’t go the way I wish or would hope with him. But as long as he is safe, I will let him try and figure out his emotions and in turn, I won’t take anything he says – like “Go away, Mommy!” – to heart.
The terrible twos are usually just a small phase in a life full of exciting, enjoyable times ahead for children. While the present may be “terrible” now, stay strong, Momma, and focus on the terrific times ahead.
