“Don’t put yucky things on my plate,” my 4-year-old calls to me each night as I bring dinner to the table. “But buddy, Mommy doesn’t make yucky things,” I reassure him. He looks at his plate with a discerning eye and then says, “I don’t like that” and walks away.
This interchange is a nightly occurrence at my house. It is beyond frustrating and is, at times, quite hurtful. I have to keep reminding myself that it is simply the nature of my stubborn child and really is just a phase. I know that when he is a teenager, he will be begging me to make some of the things he currently turns his nose up at. But, that doesn’t change the fact that he regularly misses a meal and thus is missing an important nutritional opportunity that his little body needs to grow big and strong. I keep reading about how important it is to set good eating habits early in life so that our children go on to make good choices once they are on their own.
So when my stubborn four year old refuses to eat, I tend to worry about how that choice will affect him in the future.
Even though it is hard to set these thoughts aside, I have to for my sanity. Instead, I began exploring different mealtime strategies that I could use. What I found was that there are many strategies out there on how to get your kids to eat. This is such a concern among parents that there have even been books written on the subject. In putting some of these strategies into practice, I have found that there is not a one size fits all approach. Each child is different and each household operates differently. Ultimately, you have to do what works best for you and your family. If you have a picky eater like I do, here are some strategies that may work for you.
Make the kids their own meal some nights. Whether you like spicy food and your child doesn’t or you like casserole style meals and your child hates their food all mixed together, this becomes a valid option for those nights when you know they will not eat what you are serving. I will do this occasionally when I make chili for my husband and I because the kids do not like spicy food. I tend to plan ahead with this one though and it is reserved for a night when I have a little extra time to make a second meal.
You make the food, they eat it. This strategy was a hot one about 5 or so years ago when my first child was going through his picky eater phase. The premise is that you provide a balanced and nutritious meal and it is the child’s job to eat it. Along with this strategy was the idea that you might need to present a food up to 40 times before the child will actually try it. This one did not last long in my house because I just got tired thinking about making something 40 times before my child would touch it!
Set a timer. The idea is that when the timer rings, the plate will be removed from the table and dinner will be over. This strategy came into play more recently when my slow eater was taking 2 hours to eat some nights. It was driving my husband and I crazy. Not only that, but it allowed for less playtime in the evenings; a treasured few moments with Mommy and Daddy. We decided that a more acceptable timeframe would be 45 minutes and so we set the timer accordingly. This strategy was effective for us because we let the timer do the talking. After a while, our child caught on and ate at a more desirable rate of speed.
He’ll eat if he’s hungry. This is the current method I am using with my 4-year-old picky eater. I let him come to the table when he is ready and eat what he feels he wants to eat. The reason I do this is because I have realized that if I don’t make a big deal about eating dinner, he actually comes to the table and eats. In his mind, he has made the choice. Some days it works, some days it doesn’t. Some days I get more upset and stressed than others and some days, I am shoving hot dogs at him so that he’ll just eat something because he hasn’t eaten in two days.
That’s just how it is. Most days though, I stick to my guns and say to myself, “he’ll eat if he’s hungry.”
